“Sorry I freaked out,” I said, kissing him softly.
“I want you to always tell me when you’re upset. Anytime you’re feeling jealous or angry or sad. And, for what it’s worth, I’ve dreamed of bonding an omega since I was young. You have exceeded every single one of my desires.”
My insides went warm and gooey at his words, and slick drenched my underwear. I guess this was a test to see if the scent-proof underwear worked. Ben’s flared nose and expanding pupils told me it hadn’t.
“Why didn’t you want to bring an omega into your pack before now?” I asked. The guys had been a pack before the Designation Government took over. They would have had plenty of time to match with an omega during those years but hadn’t.
Ben sighed, and for a moment, his eyes held a haunted, faraway expression that took my breath away.
“I know Cam is planning on telling you what made us leave North Woods, so I’ll let him share that part of the story. It took us a long time to recover from the pain of what happened. After a couple of years, I was ready to find an omega. I worked hard to convince them. What they had experienced with their families was worse than anything I ever had, and I think they were scared and maybe feeling unworthy of bonding an omega.”
Ben grinned at my outraged expression and kissed my nose before continuing.
“You and I know they’re two of the best alphas in the world. But they’ve always struggled to see themselves that way. Anyway, I finally convinced them to sign us up for omega interviews. I wish we could have met you then. You can’t even imagine how different it was. The interviews were meant to be fun, with the omega’s wishes front and center. For one of them, we went to a local carnival. With another, we went to a bread-making class. That’s when I started baking. But it was never right. We never found the right match for us, and the guys were still too wounded to really consider bonding someone.
“As the years went by, I got lonely and I started dating betas. The relationships never lasted long. I wanted to share a mate with my brothers and they weren’t interested in any of the betas. I can guess who you met in the bathroom. We were together briefly last summer. Honestly, she was much more interested in being with Theo than me. It became clear pretty quickly that she was just hoping being with me would give her access to him.”
“What a bitch,” I snarled.How dare she treat Ben like that?
“Ahh, don’t judge her too harshly. I hear a British accent is almost impossible to resist,” he responded with his usual light-hearted bravado, but I wasn’t having it.
“Ben, you deserve someone who is totally obsessed with you and sees you for who you are.”
“I know,” he said tenderly. “You’ve taught me that. You see me like no one else has.”
He cupped the back of my neck and pulled me in for a kiss, his hands digging into my backside.
“You smell so good, precious. So sweet, so perfect,” he said, pulling away. I whined, trying to pull him back to my lips.
“Gorgeous, believe me when I say there’s nothing I want more than to peel that dress off you and fuck you right here…”
“Yes, let’s do that,” I said, trying again to pull him in for a kiss.
Ben snorted. “I’ve learned my lesson on suitable locations,” he said with a wink. “But the main issue is I can feel Cam through the bond and he’s about three seconds away from losing his shit and breaking down the door.”
His words cut through my fog and I remembered what the betas told me about Cam. My chest tightened again, insecurity coursing through me.
“Whatever you’re thinking, I promise you’re wrong. But let’s get you home so you two can talk.”
ChapterForty-Eight
Cam
The car ride back to the house was fucking torture. Josie sat stiffly next to me—a stark contrast to our closeness on the way to Pack Turro’s. She stared out the window, her body angled away from mine. But when I offered her my hand, she took it and held on tightly.
Theo had filled me in on what had made Josie upset, and I felt like the lowest piece of shit. I knew the time had come to tell Josie everything about my past. I trusted her with all of it, but I was terrified it would change how she saw me.
When we got to the house, Josie was out of the car before any of us could get the door for her. Ben clasped me on the shoulder.
“She’s feeling jealous and insecure,” he said, “But she still loves you.”
I took a deep breath, steeling myself before following Josie through the house to the backyard.
She whipped around towards me, and my heart clenched in agony when I saw the tears in her eyes.
“I talked to some of your previous lovers. They had a lot to say about your expectations in bed. Is that why we haven’t had sex yet? Because I don’t have enough experience, and you don’t think it will be good?” Her lip trembled, but her look was defiant.
My chest tightened with panic. I realized how deeply I had fucked up by holding back. That she could believe for even a moment I didn’t want her fucking killed me. I had been terrified to do anything to scare her, convinced I would be too much for her, but my caution left her questioning my feelings.
