“We’ll have to think of a plan to ensure your safety,” Theo said, his hand resting on my leg. “But I agree. I think going as a pack shows our strength.”
Cam clenched his jaw, glaring at Ben and Theo. “Fine. But we are leaving at the first sign of any danger. The Alliance mission isn’t as important as your safety.”
His scent was burnt cinnamon, so strong I could choke on it. My omega whined, wanting to please our alpha, but I refused to back down. I wasn’t going to let Cam hide me away for the rest of my life, and I owed Amirah and the Alliance everything.
“I want to be helpful,” I said, my throat tight. “If it wasn’t for Amirah, I wouldn’t be here with you.”
The tension in the room broke at my words. Cam met my gaze, his eyes soft, and Ben peppered little kisses down my cheek.
“We need to get you something to wear for the party, love,” Theo said, a smile playing on his lips. “Let’s get some breakfast and then go to Jewel’s.”
I nodded, disentangling myself from Ben and heading into the bathroom. I felt shaky as I closed the door behind me. I couldn’t believe I had snapped at one of my alphas. Of course, he hadn’t lashed out at me—he would never do that, but my fingers trembled as I pulled off my clothes.
I caught a glimpse of my naked body in the full-length mirror. I tried not to fixate on my stomach rolls and flabby arms, but I couldn’t help it. The prospect of trying to find a dress that would fit me filled me with dread. The chorus in my head shouted back at me:ugly, fat, useless omega. I wiped a tear that escaped my eye before pulling on my clothes and turning away from the mirror. Last night with Ben had been a dream. Now I felt all tangled up inside.
I emerged from the bathroom and was startled to see Cam waiting for me. He opened his arms to me and I automatically stepped into his embrace.
“Have you been crying?” he asked, horrified. He wiped at my face as if he could soothe away invisible tears.
I shook my head, not ready to talk about it, and pressed my face into his chest. I might feel frustrated with him, but I still wanted his comfort.
“Are we okay, sweetheart?” His voice was as unsure as I had ever heard it.
“Yeah. I’m sorry I was so defensive.”
“I’m the one who needs to apologize. I never want you to feel like I see you, or any omegas, as less than. You know that, right?” He hugged me closer to him, one hand cupping the back of my head.
“I know… but sometimes I find myself believing the messages I heard at the DA,” I confessed. “That omegas are weak, we can’t do anything without the guidance of alphas, we’re too ruled by our hormones. I know it’s not true, but it’s like those thoughts have their hooks in me, and it makes me feel like I shouldn’t even try to do hard things because I’ll just fail, anyway.”
“What? Baby girl, no, that’s not true at all.” The look of sheer horror on Cam’s face reassured me even more than his words. “Look at how much you’ve accomplished. You survived that fucking nightmare of a place, lived on your own, started a self-defense group. I am in constant awe of you.”
I melted into his embrace. Cam believed in me. He didn’t think I was useless.
“I want you to call me out on my bullshit, sweetheart. Push back if I’m being overbearing or making you feel insecure.”
“I like when you get all growly and overprotective and take care of me. But I’m also capable of doing things on my own,” I said, trying to convince myself. Where was the girl who used to be so fierce and independent? I wasn’t sure where she had gone, but I wanted her back.
“I know, baby girl. I get so fucking scared when I think about you being around those assholes. The thought of anything happening to you kills me.” Then, as if he couldn’t stand the thought of there being any space between us, he picked me up. I wrapped my arms and legs around him.
“You get scared?” I couldn’t remember an alpha ever admitting to feeling afraid.
“Fucking terrified. You mean so much to me.”
We stayed like that for a few quiet minutes, Cam’s arms wrapped around me. I could feel his heartbeat, the rhythmic sound soothing me.
“Ben and Theo are getting impatient. You need to eat and then we’ll get going to Jewel’s.”
My scent turned bitter, and Cam froze.
“What’s wrong?” he demanded. “And don’t say it’s nothing. I can scent how stressed you are. Do you not want to go to the party?”
“It’s stupid. I’m just worried about finding a dress that fits,” I mumbled.
Cam pulled away enough to see my face. He looked totally bewildered. “Of course, you’ll find something,” he said. “And if Jewel doesn’t have the right dress, we’ll go somewhere else.”
“I wish I looked like a normal omega,” I said, my voice sounding small.
“Why the fuck would you want to look different when you’re the sexiest fucking woman I’ve ever seen?” Cam’s voice was raised, his grip on me tight.
