Cam’s gaze narrowed, and I thought he would push me to talk. Instead, he took a deep breath and gave me a nod. “Only when you’re ready to tell us.”
“Thanks,” I said, breathing in his cinnamon roll scent, trying to force my muscles to relax again.
Ben’s arms tightened around me, and he pressed a kiss to my forehead.
“What happens to the alphas?” I asked, breaking the silence.
“It’s described that they go into a sort of trance state where they’ll do whatever they’re told,” Theo said, a slight frown on his face as he looked at me.
“Sounds like what they were doing with omegas,” Ben said.
“What do you mean?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady as the grip on my chest tightened. Were they talking about the device? How would they know about it? A pit in my stomach formed as horror washed over me. Of course, the DA must have used the device on other omegas. How could I have thought that I was the only one? How many more omegas had they experimented on?
“Doesn’t matter,” Cam muttered, twining his fingers with mine. “We’ll keep you safe.”
Usually, Cam’s protectiveness made me feel warm and cherished, but irritation prickled at his words.I’ve already been unsafe, and there’s nothing they could have done about it.I knew I should tell them about the device, about what Glen did to me. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to see the pity in their eyes. Or worse, their judgment. Would they think I was dirty after what happened? Unworthy of being theirs?
“So, what did Amirah want?” I asked, proud of how unaffected my voice sounded. I couldn’t fool them with my scent, though.
Theo hesitated before continuing. “The tabs are finally ready to be distributed. We keep Alliance hand-offs discrete, using public events to avoid suspicion. Another alpha pack was supposed to go to a cocktail party at Donovan Turro’s home tonight to deliver the tabs to an Alliance member leading the distribution effort, but something happened and they’re not able to go anymore.”
“Isn’t Donovan Turro that male omega artist?” I asked, his name vaguely conjuring images of large, colorful abstract paintings. Male omegas were the rarest of all designations—literally one in a million. I had never met one but had always been curious about what life was like for them.
“Yeah,” Theo said. “He and his alphas are part of the Alliance. They occasionally host these art gallery cocktail party events. Mostly, it’s an excuse for the wealthy to come together and drink.”
“And gawk at Donovan,” Ben added sleepily. “It’s gross.”
“His alphas should shield him from scrutiny,” Cam muttered.
His words made me feel defensive. “Unless he doesn’t want that. Maybe he wants to be involved.”
Cam furrowed his brows. “It’s an alpha’s job to make sure their omega is safe and cared for.”
“Okay, but that doesn’t mean we have to be shielded from everything. Omegas aren’t just like, I don’t know, fragile little creatures that have to be hidden away.”
The energy in the room turned tense at my sharp words. I wasn’t sure Ben was even breathing under me, and Theo’s eyes were wide.
“I know that,” Cam said carefully, caressing my hand. “Omegas are strong and capable. I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise.”
I knew I was overreacting, knew he hadn’t meant anything bad by his words, but I still felt unsettled. I shifted off of Ben, sitting up with my back against the headboard, wrapping my arms around my bent knees.
“So, Amirah wants you to go instead?” I asked, wanting to forget the last few minutes.
“She wants us all to go together, as a pack, and do the hand-off. The tabs will be delivered here in an hour, and we’ll get them to the other Alliance member at the party. Amirah also said this could be a good chance to show you’re part of our pack. There’s likely going to be higher-ups from the Designation Center and government there,” Theo responded, running his hand through my hair.
I leaned into his touch, but it didn’t ease the prickling of my skin at the thought of having to be around those people again. Growing up, my parents forced me to attend formal events. Even though I was a constant disappointment to them, I was still an omega and, therefore, worth parading around. I could still feel the weight of my parents’ judgment and the predatory stares I got from alphas. The only good part of those events was when Sam and I attended together. At the last one we’d gone to, we had snuck into the kitchen and stocked up on champagne and snacks before stealing one of the owner’s golf carts and joy-riding around the local golf course. A lump formed in my throat as I thought about how much I missed my best friend.
“It’s too dangerous,” Cam grunted. “Josie doesn’t need to deal with that stress. Two of us can go, and someone can stay here with her.”
I bristled. I didn’t evenwantto go to this party, but I hated being told what to do, hated how Cam was talking about me like I wasn’t even in the room. Before I could say anything, Ben spoke up.
“What do you want to do, precious?” he asked, kissing me on the cheek.
“I think if Amirah thinks it’s good for us to go together, we should go.” I set my jaw firmly and met Cam’s eyes, waiting for him to argue.
“Sounds like a plan to me,” Ben said quickly, picking me up and settling me in his lap.
I resisted him for a moment, unsure if I wanted to be soothed right now, but then I breathed in his spicy scent and the fight went out of me. The stress of my mother’s call, the shame of being caught binging, the joy of finally having sex with Ben… all the emotions of the past day caught up with me. I slumped in Ben’s hold, exhausted by it all.
