My phone begins to ring. My hands are shaking as I answer it, but I wait for Ash to speak first.
‘Are you okay?’
‘Not really,’ I reply.
‘Where are you?’
‘Maple Garden, behind the orangery.’
‘I’ll be there in five minutes.’
He hangs up.
I’m relieved I’m alone because I dread to think of anyone else seeing me.
Few perennials can compete with globe thistles for drought tolerance and ourEchinopsare thriving, even in the heatwave. I’m severing the stalks holding up a sea of round, spiky blue heads the size of golf balls when Ash appears around the corner of the orangery.
‘Hey,’ he says, his expression full of trepidation as I get to my feet.
He looks hungover, and when he pulls me into a hug, I can smell alcohol on his breath.
I’m stiff in his arms, breaking away before he’s ready to let me go.
‘I swear to you there’s nothing to worry about,’ he says fervently, gripping my biceps and staring me dead in the eyes. ‘I slept in my room, she stayed in a guest bed. I didn’t even see her this morning.’
‘But it went well last night?’ I ask nervily.
He nods, but seems reserved. ‘We got on, had a laugh, on apurely platonic level,’ he stresses.
‘On your part, maybe.’
He shakes his head, but doesn’t try to convince me that his ex is not still romantically invested in him.
‘Please be okay with this, Ellie. I don’t want to lose her friendship.’
I can’t help wincing at this and he tugs me back into his arms.
‘Trust me,’ he murmurs in my ear, holding me close. ‘I wantyou. It’syou. It’s only ever beenyou.’
He presses his lips to my temple, my cheekbone, my jaw. I’m breathing shallowly as his mouth finds mine and then he’s clasping my face in his hands and kissing me hard, telling me with his body that this is not fizzling out.
I give it back to him just as urgently, my heart beating fast inside my chest as though it knows how all things that burn brightly must fade with time.
And right now, I feel as though our time is slipping away.
Suddenly I don’t care that he tastes of the tequila he drank with his ex last night, I just want him to consume me.
He walks me back against the orangery wall, presses me up against the warm cream stone, cups his hands under my thighs until my legs wrap around him, and then he rocks against me hard, not just once but again and again, and I feel as though I’m seeing stars as he makes love to me fully clothed.
CLAP.
We freeze, startled.
CLAP.
We slide our mouths apart.
CLAP.
