We look in the direction of the sound and see his father coming towards us, his hands creating one last resounding CLAP as he comes to a stop.
My whole body goes rigid as his steel-grey eyes lock with mine.
‘Do I need to give you lessons in discretion?’ PeterBerkeley asks acridly, his gaze roving to his son as Ash, muscles taut with tension, carefully sets me down on my feet and straightens my top. ‘And you should be at work,’ he says to me.
He tuts, which is condescending enough, and then he begins to wag his finger, adding insult to injury.
‘Father,’ Ash cuts in backing up a few inches.
‘Off you scoot,’ Peter Berkeley says, giving me a dismissive wave.
‘Donotspeak to her that way,’ Ash warns through gritted teeth, placing his hand on my hip.
The gesture is meant to be reassuring, but I push him away, unable to fight against my body’s sudden strong repulsion at being touched.
Ash glances at me with confusion, his expression wretched.
‘I hope you’re not getting attached, Ashton,’ his father says drolly, regaining his son’s attention. ‘I don’t think Rebecca will stand for it.’
‘Rebecca and I are not together,’ Ash snaps, taking my hand and tugging me close to his side, ever so slightly behind him.
This time I let him touch me, but I’m as stiff as a board.
Peter Berkeley’s eyes dart between us. ‘Oh dear,’ he says, and I can see his mind recalibrating. ‘This won’t do.’
‘Ellie, you should go,’ Ash says, his voice strained.
But I’m glued to the spot, unable to move.
He’s just a man, I try to tell myself as my heart pounds hard and fast.
But it didn’t help before and it doesn’t help now.
‘Ellie,’ Ash prompts sharply.
Peter Berkeley laughs as I jolt to attention.
‘I’ll come and find you later,’ Ash promises.
I feel his father’s eyes on me as I quickly hurry away.
Ash finds me in the walled garden, plucking off the brilliantly coloured daisy-like flower heads ofArgyranthemumas though they’ve personally insulted me. The adrenaline pumping through my body is making me work at breakneck speed. I’m in full sunshine and the factor 50 I plastered on earlier will be wearing thin, but the heat is a distraction.
I feel dazed, confused, out on a limb. I feel fucked.
Ash pulls me into the shade of the apple orchard and takes me in his arms. He’s cool, not hot and sweaty like I am. I’m guessing he’s come from the house.
‘I spoke to my father,’ he says. ‘I told him in no uncertain terms that Beca and I are over, that you and I are together, and he’s just got to accept it. I explained about Lisbon.’
I tense up and try to pull away, but he holds me tighter.
‘There was no other way. I had to try to appeal to him somehow.’
This is the beginning of the end. I feel it in my bones.
A few days later, I’m up at the cabin, waiting for Ash with a spare key he gave me, when he returns, distraught. He looks shocked to find me napping on his bed, and not at all happy – I think he wanted time to recover.
‘What happened?’ I ask urgently, scrambling to my feet.
