This builds to a crescendo and then the whole room breaks out into raucous applause as Dan, Tarek, Chris and Finn take to the small stage. They briefly huddle together before looking around at the equipment to get their bearings. Finn has his back to the audience as he watches his old bandmates check over the instruments that have been loaned to them and then he turns around and picks up the mic, his eyes scanning the crowd. They snag on me for a couple of seconds beforemoving on to Tom and then they pass by him to land on Amy, who’s standing nearby.
‘This one’s for the bride,’ he says with a sleepy grin.
Tom squeezes my waist and bends down to speak in my ear: ‘I’ll be back in a bit.’
‘You’re not going?’ I shoot him a look, panicked.
‘Only to the bathroom,’ he promises, squeezing my waist again and casting a look over at the stage. His gaze catches and holds for a moment and I witness his jaw clenching as he turns away.
I return my attention to the stage and find Finn watching me. He lowers his eyes as his bandmates begin to play, and the instantly recognisable melody of INXS’s ‘Never Tear Us Apart’ spills from the speakers.
Finn’s deep, soulful voice fills the room. ‘Don’t ask me…’
The hairs on the back of my neck stand up, just as they did the first time I heard him sing. The coincidence isn’t lost on me that it’s a song by the same band.
It’s a stunning choice for Dan and Amy, but as Finn’s eyes lift again and lock with mine, I feel that he’s singing the lyrics to me.
I amundone.
A lump forms in my throat as I stare back at him, trying to control my reaction. His eyebrows draw together as he watches me and the whole room seems to fade away.
I cannot cope with this.
‘Don’t eventhinkabout it,’ Amy hisses in my ear when I manage to wrench my gaze away during the instrumental break.
‘What?’ I ask huskily, staring past her in a daze.
‘He’s in your past. Leave him behind.’
‘That’s easier said than done.’
‘I need to say something to you and I need you to listen,’ she says firmly, almost angrily, as the instrumental break comes to an end and Finn begins to sing again.
I reluctantly look at her, unable to concentrate fully because his voice is so beautiful.
But no one argues with a bride on her wedding day. Especially notthisbride.
‘When I think about you at your happiest, I think about you that summer when you’d just finished university. You had the whole world at your feet and were so full of excitement and joy for what the future would bring. You glowed. Yousparkled. The only time I’ve seen you like that since has been when you’re with Tom.’
My head prickles as her eyes well up.
‘Don’t do it, Liv,’ she begs me as the song comes to an end and everyone cheers. People are looking over at her, but Amy is ignoring the fact that the song was dedicated to her. She doesn’t even look the band’s way because she’s still speaking urgently and directly into my ear. ‘You’ll end up on that same godforsaken roundabout that you’ve been on for years. He’ll jump on for a bit, tear your heart into shreds and jump off again. I can’t watch you do it, not when you seem to be so close to finding lasting happiness.’
She pulls away and gives me a hard stare as ‘Fire’ by Kasabian begin to blare out of the speakers. The boys only played the one track.
ButamI close to finding lasting happiness? How long can what I have with Tom actually last? What if his heart simplygives out one day when we’re walking along the beach? I couldliterallywake up tomorrow and find that I’ve lost him.
Behind Amy, I see Tom emerge from the bathrooms. I bow my head, blinking furiously and trying to compose myself. I don’t want him to see me upset.
‘Please, Liv,’ Amy implores.
I nod curtly and walk towards Tom, stepping straight into his arms.
‘I think I’m ready to go home now after all.’
He hugs me tightly, cradling my head against his chest, and maybe it’s the beat pumping from the speakers and reverberating through my body, but I prefer to imagine that it’s his heart thudding against mine.
The following morning, on the anniversary of my parents’ deaths, my resolve weakens. I’m sitting across from Tom at the breakfast table and I’ve just told him that I’m going for a walk on the cliffs.
