‘What?’ I repeat.
‘Do you really— No, forget it.’ He shakes his head again.
‘I’m telling you, Elliot doesn’t get jealous. He trusts me, and he’s right to. I wouldnevercheat – never have, never will.’
His lips tilt up at the corners as he listens to me.
‘Are you done?’ he says when I’ve finished.
Squeak, squeak, squeak.
‘Yeah.’
‘I wasn’t going to ask about Elliot.’
I frown. ‘What were you going to ask, then? Spit it out, Mr Laurence.’
He studies me for a long moment. ‘Do you really buy into all that crap?’
‘All what crap?’
‘Your blog. The pieces-of-your-heart crap.’
I let out a laugh. ‘Crap?’
‘It’s just... You don’t really take it seriously, do you?’
‘I think I liked you better when you barely spoke to me.’
Squeak, squeak.
His eyes widen and his lips form a startled ‘O’.
I wave my hands at him. ‘I’m only joking.’
‘When did I barely speak to you?’ He glances at me with his bottle-glass eyes.
‘When I first came here.’
He looks thoughtful.
‘Anyway, to answer your question,’ I say, moving on, ‘no, I don’t take itthatseriously. I just thought it would be a fun idea for a book – hunting down all of my exes around the world.’
He nods and I think he’s satisfied, but then his brow furrows again and he cocks his head to one side.
‘What?’
‘It’s just... the pieces-of-your-heart stuff. That thing you wrote about wanting to love someone wholeheartedly.’
‘Yes?’
‘You really think you’re going to be able to do that, just because you’ve met up with all of your old boyfriends and demanded that they give you a chunk of your heart back?’
‘Okay, well, for a start,’ I say matter-of-factly, ‘obviously I’m not deluded. I know you can’t ask for something like that back and simply get it.’
‘Exactly, so, by a piece of your heart, you mean they still own a part of you. You still have feelings for them. Not romantic feelings,’ he says quickly when he sees my face, ‘but you haven’t completely – I don’t know – let go of the relationship.’
‘Right. Yes, that’s right.’By Jove! I think he’s got it!‘And seeing them again gives me – I hate this word – but in some cases it gives me closure. It allows me to put the past to rest. It sounds wanky when you say it out loud, but I guess my heart does feel a little lighter after each reunion – as if it was weighed down before.’
