She laughed. There were tears in her eyes. “I mean, no, it’s been a disaster.”
“I’m sorry,” he said again.
“Thanks. You’re engaged, right?”
“No.What? Who said I was engaged?”
“Becky. She said she heard—”
“No,” Cary said. “I’ve gone on three dates with someone.”
“Total?”
“Lately. Before this wedding. I went on three dates with someone.”
“Okay,” Shiloh said, “well, I hope that turns into something for you.”
“No.” Both Cary’s hands were on his hips. “I mean, I’m not engaged. I don’t have a girlfriend. I’ve been on three dates with someone. Recently. That’s the extent of my current commitments.”
“Okay, Cary.”
Cary reached a hand up to Shiloh’s cheek.
He gave her a few seconds.
Then he kissed her like he’d been thinking about it all night—like maybe he’d been thinking about it for fifteen years.
Shiloh did her best not to ruin it.
Okay...
Okay.
So this was a kiss. A good kiss.
What made a kiss good, Shiloh decided, wasn’t technique. It was wanting it—and shewantedthis. She wantedhim. She’d never wanted anyone else as much or as well.
Shiloh had wanted Cary before she’d even known how to recognize want. Before she had words for it. Before she had some sense of these things and their dimensions.
She’dlongedfor him—and she’d thought it was something else,some other feeling. She’d thought that someone else would come along someday andthat personwould show her what love and desire felt like. That future person would be real. In a way that nothing in high school ever could be. No one in North Omaha.
Shiloh was going to get away from this place, andthenher life was going to begin, and everyone in the new,reallife was going to be better than everyone who came before.
Maybe she’d never said that out loud. Maybe she’d never even thought it through until just now—the mechanics of her misunderstanding.
Shiloh had wanted Cary before she knew what that meant—and now it was too late for her to ever truly have him.
But Shilohwasgetting this kiss...
And maybe she would even get this night. A bonus night with Cary. A break from destiny. An out-of-continuity adventure.
God, he felt so good. So deliberate. There was no question who was kissing who at the moment. Shiloh wasbeingkissed. She was receiving it, taking it. Being told. Cary probably didn’t trust her enough to steer just now—and he was correct. Shiloh did not have a steady grip.
Her hand came up between them and gently brushed the front of his shirt. Fumbling.
When Cary finally pulled away, Shiloh’s chest was heaving. Cary’s eyes were black.
“Let’s not say goodbye just yet,” she said.
