He swallowed. “Shiloh, I have five years left in the Navy. I know you can’t leave Omaha. I know I can’t offer you the life and partnership you deserve—”
“Cary.” Shiloh hadn’t eaten anything. She had to go to the bathroom. She felt faint.
“—but I’m weak.” His eyes were shining.
She touched his hair and shoulders. She pressed her palm over his mouth.
He pulled her hand away. He held it. “Shiloh, I love you—”
She stumbled down to her knees in front of him. Her skirt hit his legs. Cary dropped to both knees, too.
“Cary, stop—”
He didn’t stop. “I don’t want to spend another year—or another minute—without you. Without being what I’m supposed to be to you.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box.
“I thought you hadn’t planned this!”
“I hadn’t planned to do it now.” He squeezed her hand. “Look at me.”
She couldn’t look at him.
“Shiloh.”
She looked at him.
“Will you marry me?”
At some point, she’d started crying. She laid her free hand on his cheek. “Cary, this isn’t good.”
“Why not?”
“Because you don’t want this.”
“I’m telling you what I want.”
“I’ve got too much,” she said. “Baggage. Sandbags. I can’t follow you all over the world.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
“I’mhere,” Shiloh said.
“I know.”
“For good.”
“Shiloh, I know.”
“And my kids—have you even thought about my kids? They’re only getting older and less cute, and you’d have all of the responsibility but none of the joy—”
“Notnone.”
“They’ll always be someone else’s. And he’s around, too.” Her voice was getting quieter, and her words were coming faster. She couldn’t slow down. “Marrying me is like marrying four people, and one of them is my ex-husband. He’s clingy and manipulative, and you can’t even complain about him, because the kids might hear. I only get half a life with my kids—you’d get aquarter. The bad quarter! And even if you give them your best, he’ll still be the guy they call ‘Dad.’ It’s too fucked up, Cary.” She inhaled, too fast. She didn’t wait to catch her breath. “You wouldn’t be marrying a woman, you’d be marrying amom. Someone who puts someone else’s kids first in every situation—”
“Shiloh.” Cary set the box down between them. He took her other hand. His voice was firm. “I’ve thought about your kids. I’m ready to take this on.”
“How could youknowthat?”
