Julian could see why she loved it there, but it was too far out of the city for him to make it more than once in a while.That he’d been there and in Ojai in the same week was highly unprecedented, but then, everything about the past two weeks was unprecedented.
What was he doing sitting on a bench at a beach in Santa Barbara on a Thursday afternoon, watching the surfers enjoy larger-than-average waves?
Meeting Isla had changed everything, and as much as he’d tried to avoid it, he couldn’t deny that he was, in fact, in love with her.Admitting that to himself was a huge relief, even if it didn’t change the reality of their situation.What he still couldn’t wrap his head around was how quickly and easily he’d fallen for her when he would’ve said, before he’d met her, that it couldn’t happen like that.No way, he would’ve said.
Haha,the universe replied.Hold my beer.
If it weren’t such an impossible situation, he would’ve been elated to feel the way he did for her.She was everything he could ever want and so much more than he’d allowed himself to dream possible.The way she’d survived the nightmare her husband had put her through, keeping herself and her kids safe in a volatile, unpredictable situation she didn’t understand was truly admirable.There was so much to admire about her, which was what set her so far apart from most of the women he’d met who were far more concerned about things that didn’t matter than they were with anything of real substance.
Isla had lived a life of substance.She’d known crushing loss far too early in her life and then experienced bewildering extremes with the man she’d married.She was a wonderful, loving, tender mother to her babies, and her warm, soft sweetness had filled an empty place inside Julian to overflowing.He hadn’t even known that empty place was there until she’d arrived to show him everything he’d been missing.
Driving up here without her hand in his had taken all the self-control he could muster with every fiber of his being longing to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her, to make love to her, to make everything that was wrong in her life—and his—right.
He was beginning to understand that he’d never have a chance of being happy again if she wasn’t in his life.In order to keep her with him, where he was now convinced she belonged, he’d have to open his heart and mind to the idea of one day getting married.That was what she wanted for herself and her kids, and if the choice was that or a life bereft of her presence…
He huffed out a laugh as his thoughts led him to the only possible conclusion to this dilemma.His brothers would kill him.They might even disown him.He wouldn’t blame them if they did.When they’d taken that solemn vow to one another, they’d meant it.
But now… If he had to choose between making them happy and making her happy… Again, the choice was clear.
“How in the hell did this even happen?”he asked the same universe that had brought Isla into his life in the first place.
He laughed at the insanity of it all as he checked his watch to see how much time had passed while he arrived at the biggest decision of his life.Now that he knew she existed, there was no life without her and her kids and whatever came next.It was that simple and that complicated.
Julian turned his face toward the sun, soaking up the warmth as a feeling of peace settled over him.Fighting his love for her would be like trying to keep the tides from changing or the wind from blowing or any number of other impossible things.
A barking dog on the beach caught his attention, and he tuned in to watch the antics of the little white fluff ball that reminded him of his mother’s dog, Snowball.Like Snowball, this dog was full of beans, running in circles, barking happily and totally oblivious to anything other than his or her own little world.
His gaze shifted to the right of the dog to see a man and woman holding hands, laughing as they followed the dog to the parking lot.He watched them for a full minute before he realizedhe was looking at his parents.They were hand in hand on a Thursday afternoon, laughing like newlyweds as they tried to keep up with Snowball.
They were completely oblivious to everything other than each other, not seeing their eldest child seated twenty feet from them as they walked past him on the way to the parking lot, laughing, talking, calling the dog as if nothing else in the entire world mattered.
Before Isla, he would’ve wondered how they could be so caught up in each other.Now he knew, but that didn’t make him any less furious to see proof of their reconciliation with his own eyes.
For a second, he thought he might be sick.When he recalled what they’d put their children through as they dismantled their happily ever after publicly and with as much vitriol as they could muster, each wanting to win no matter the cost or the collateral damage to the nine children they claimed to love more than life itself…
Julian wanted to chase after them, to ask them what the hell they were doing, to ruin what looked to be a perfectly lovely day for them by reminding them of why none of their adult children had ever married and had sworn to one another they never would.
Just that quickly, the decision he’d made about Isla and what he was willing to do for her was back in play as memories he’d kept buried deep inside came surging to the surface to remind him of why he and his siblings had made that vow to one another.
Goddamn his parents.
How dare they?
He wanted to call Carson to tell him what he’d seen, but then he’d have to hear Carson remind him once again that he was off the deep end in Santa Barbara on a Thursday afternoon.He didn’t feel like dealing with that on top of the gut punch of seeing his parents holding hands and laughing like young lovers newly in love.
In all the years of chaos and upheaval they’d caused, he’d never hated them more than he did right then.He seethed with outrage, hurt, bewilderment and determination to protect himself from the kind of pain they’d caused for most of his life.
What was their plan when it came to their kids?he wondered.Did they intend to soft-launch their reconciliation at some point, hoping to get their offspring to buy into their new happily ever after?Had it all been a big mistake back in the day?Had it been a huge misunderstanding that’d now been rectified, opening a path to a reunion?Whatever the story was, he didn’t care.
Julian wanted to go back in time ten minutes, to before he’d seen them together and could no longer deny that Kaidan’s theory was true.He didn’t want to have to tell the others he’d seen them together and that there was no doubt they were back together.
He checked the phone he’d put on silent so he wouldn’t be hounded by the world while he was off for the afternoon and found a text from Isla that she’d sent seven minutes earlier.Ready to go whenever you are.
Be right there.
Julian got up and walked toward the parking lot, wondering how he’d missed seeing one of his parents’ vehicles in the lot when he’d arrived.Only because the lot was fuller than usual on a January weekday, he hadn’t seen whatever car they were in.His state of disbelief continued as he drove to the funeral home and texted Isla to let her know he was out front.
She came out a few minutes later, and the second he saw her coming toward him, he forgot all about the bombshell experience at the beach.He got out of the G-Wagon and met her at the end of the sidewalk, waiting to take his cues from her.
