When she got to the main door, she looked back to find him waiting until she was inside before he waved and got back into the SUV.
Isla could feel his reluctance to leave her there to face the tragedy inside, but she appreciated that he understood she had to do this herself.No matter what the future held for her, she had to close the door to the past so she could move forward.For better or mostly worse, Gabriel had been a big part of her life for much of a decade, and it pained her to think of never seeing him again and their kids never really knowing the man he’d been before his illness took over.
She’d make sure they knew that version of him and that Theo didn’t remember their night in the closet first when he thought of his father.Hopefully, that memory would fade in time, and others would come to the forefront when he saw photos of the joy his father obviously took in him.
When she walked through the main doors, a man directed her to the left for the Santana wake.She signed the guest book and took a couple of the prayer cards that had a photo of a smiling, much-younger Gabriel on the front and a prayer on the back.She’d put away one for each of the kids to have when they were older.
Maggie left her spot in the receiving line, which included Gabriel’s father, Ramon, and several other people who must’ve been siblings and their partners, to come to the back of the room to hug Isla.“Thank you so much for coming.”
“Of course.Thank you for planning everything.”
“We prayed for reconciliation for all the years we were apart, and when he finally called to tell us he was so ill… We were just so thankful to hear from him.It was a gift to have those final days with him.”
Maggie used a tissue she had balled up in her hand to dab at tears.“All he talked about was you and the kids and what a mess he’d made of everything.He had terrible regrets about not seeking care when you first asked him to.”
“It helps me to know that.Thank you for telling me.I wanted so badly for things to work out with him, for our sake as well as the kids’.”
She put her hand on Isla’s arm.“You were fighting a losing battle.The doctors said the tumor was probably affecting every aspect of his personality since he was a teenager, and his infernal stubbornness ended up doing him in.It explains so much but doesn’t make any of this any easier.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Would you like to see him?”
Isla didn’t want to see Gabriel in a casket, but she also didn’t want to shy away from a final goodbye with someone who’d once meant so much to her.“Yes, please,” she said, sounding much stronger than she felt.
Maggie hooked her arm through Isla’s and led her to the front of the room.
When the other people realized who she must be, they fell silent to watch her approach the casket, which was surrounded by floral arrangements.The same photo of Gabriel on the prayer card had been enlarged and displayed on an easel.They’d also framed a photo of him with the kids that he must’ve given them.
Isla’s hands were sweaty as she gazed down at Gabriel, whose hands were clasped around rosary beads.She was almost afraid to look at his face, but when she did, she was relieved to realize he was truly at peace now.
“That was his Abuela’s rosary,” Maggie said.“He was always close to her as a child.I figured he might want to take something of hers with him.”
Isla reached into her purse for the photos she’d brought of Gabriel and her with the kids and Gabriel with each of the kids.She handed the pictures to Maggie, who looked through them.“I thought he might want to take these, too.”
“You made a beautiful family together.”
“Yes, we did.”
“I hope we can find a way…”
Isla rested her hand on Maggie’s arm.“We will.”In another life, she would’ve known Maggie and Ramon well.She’d also know their other children and their families.In this next era, she’d make sure Theo and Mila knew them all.“I promise.”
“Our son was lucky to be loved by someone like you, Isla.We’ll always be sorry for the way he disappointed you.”
“I’m looking forward rather than backward these days.My heart is at peace where he’s concerned.”As she said those words, she realized it was true.“My only goal now is to raise our children to be good people.”
“Let me introduce you to the rest of the family.”
“I’d like that very much.”
ChapterTwenty-Nine
With rare time to kill on a weekday, Julian headed for Hendry’s Beach to get some air and enjoy the warmer-than-average day.He chose that beach since it was only ten minutes from downtown, so he could stay close for when Isla was ready to leave.
He left his sport coat in the car and rolled up his shirtsleeves when he walked toward the shore, taking a seat on one of the benches to watch the surfers.Julian hadn’t spent much time in Santa Barbara, but he’d always thought it was one of the more beautiful towns in the greater LA area.
His mother adored all things Santa Barbara.She’d had a house there for more than twenty years.He’d been in college when she’d bought it and hadn’t been there very often, except for an occasional holiday or birthday celebration.
