“If you say so, dear,” her mother insisted, amused. “But I am your mother. I know these things.”
Theo lowered her hands slowly. “Mother…”
Lady Dowell sat on the edge of the bed and smiled at Theo cheekily. “Tell me, darling, truthfully. Is there someone?”
Theo hesitated. She could not tell her mother about Alexander, and she could not tell her the truth about her father either. Her secrets piled up and began to feel heavy.
So, she asked the first question that came to mind instead.
“May I ask you something, Mother?” She spoke softly.
“Of course, dear, although I do not believe that I can answer any of your scientific questions as thoroughly as you do.”
Theodora always admired her mother’s humility, especially since they both knew that the Viscountess was just as intelligent as her daughter. So, she never understood why her mother spoke so lowly about herself.
Theo took a deep breath before she asked her, “Do you still love Father the same way you did when you first met?”
Her mother looked taken aback and surprised by the question. “Oh… that is quite a question.”
Theo swallowed. “I apologize; I just want to understand.”
Lady Dowell folded her hands in her lap. “Love changes over time, Theodora. It grows. It deepens. And it becomes…something different.”
Theo frowned. “Different how?”
“Well,” her mother said thoughtfully, “when I first met your father, I loved him with excitement. With anticipation. With the thrill of something new. Now I love him with understanding. With patience and with a lot of history.”
Theo tried to follow, but the words felt slippery, abstract, and impossible to grasp. Especially when she knew the truth about her father. Her mother smiled softly and she imagined that she was thinking of all the memories she shared with the Viscount.
“Love is a fickle thing, Theo. It is hard to describe and even harder to learn about without fully immersing yourself in it.”
“But it must be possible to learn. There is a scientific explanation for everything. Even love.” Theo argued stubbornly.
“You know, Theo, books and science can teach you many things. But, my darling, they cannot teach youeverything.”
Theo stiffened. “Books are more reliable than men, Mother.”
“Yes, and books are safer than men too,” her mother added. “But a book could never love you or teach you how to love. Just like it cannot teach you to live. To truly live, you must go out and experience. You must fail and try again.”
Theo’s throat tightened.
Her mother got up and walked towards her, placing her hand gently over Theo’s shoulder. “Love is for the brave ones, Theo.”
She looked down at her notebook lying on the desk like a confession. Her mother followed her gaze.
“What are you writing?” she asked.
Theo panicked.
“Nothing,” she said too quickly, grabbing the notebook.
Her mother’s brows lifted. “May I see?”
“No!” Theo clutched the notebook to her chest. “It’s private.”
Lady Dowell blinked at the intensity of her reaction. “Theodora…”
“I don’t want anyone to read it,” Theo said, breath unsteady. “Not even you.”
