What could he say? That he had tried everything? But was that even true?
He should have hired physicians, tutors, companions, governesses, and nurses. He should have taken her back to the countryside, or to the seaside. And he should have filled her rooms with books, flowers, and music. But Alexander was too busy fighting his own guilt so much so that he could not comfort Rosalind the way she needed. He had believed that coming to London would be best for them both, but he had been wrong.
“You are accusing me of not helping my sister?” he asked defensively, ignoring the guilt he felt in the pit of his stomach.
“I only ask so I may suggest how totrulyhelp her,” Theodora said in a far gentler tone than she had employed a moment before.
I failed her.
Theodora watched him. Her expression softened and he prayed that she did not see through him.
“Your Grace…”
His jaw clenched. “I have tried everything to help her.”
“You could not have tried everything; it is not possible,” she said.
Alexander laughed humourlessly. “Do not get technical with me, Miss Dowell. Do not stand there and imply that you, who met Rosalind not ten minutes ago, know her better than I.”
“I am not implying anything,” she said, though her voice wavered. “I am saying that she needs help. Real help. And you cannot do it alone. Surely you know that because you asked me to assist.”
“I made a huge mistake asking you to come here. As I said, she needs a friend not another—physician,” he snapped.
“I disagree. Rosalind does not need me. She truthfully needs a trained physician.”
Her words made him freeze.
She continued, oblivious to his spiralling thoughts. “I understand that you are trying to protect her. But protection is not the same as healing.”
He stared at her. “You believe you know everything. Do you not?”
“Nobody knows everything.”
“Oh, of course. But you, Miss Dowell, truly believe that science can explain everything. And I hate to ruin your expectations, but science cannot truly explain everything. Sometimes life takes an unexpected turn. People leave, hearts get broken, and we become lonely. Rosalind is merely lonely. She did not adapt to London, no matter how hard I tried. And I, foolishly, believed that you, a young, intelligent woman who grew up in the city, would do her good.”
“If you explained your intentions to me, I would have understood her better. I?—”
“I guess you cannot be intelligent and sympathetic at the same time.” He cut her off coldly.
Theodora swallowed, her eyes glistening. “Now that I do understand, let me see her again, and I will?—”
“No.”
The word came out harsher than he intended, but he did not take it back.
Theodora looked insulted. “No?”
“Why would I allow you to see my sister again after you frightened her?” He frowned down at her.
Theodora flinched as though struck. “I?—”
Alexander growled. “You will never see her again, Miss Dowell.”
Her eyes filled with hurt. She stepped back, shaking her head and laughing humorlessly. Alexander felt a sudden sense of dread.
“I should not have come,” she said as she looked at the front door.
“Theodora—”
