“No, never mind what I said,” Theodora muttered under her breath, looked down, and paced faster.
“Well, you cannot leave me in suspense!”
Theodora sighed. “It is just that the subject has…changed a lot of my views on the experiment and I did not expect that.”
“What did you expect, darling?”
“I expected to be able to explain every feeling and thought about him in a scientific manner, but these thoughts and emotions transcend those explanations, and I do not know why.” Theodora stopped pacing and looked at her mother helplessly.
“You look unsettled.” She cocked her head curiously.
Theodora cleared her throat.
Is it that obvious?
“Iamunsettled but I do not know why. For the first time, I simply do not have any answers and that troubles me more than anything else.” Her arms flew up in exasperation.
Lady Dowell sat back down on the bed, chuckling softly. “My darling girl… you do know that this is what happens when one falls in love.”
Theodora’s breath caught. “Mother. Please. I am not in love. I am in crisis.”
Her mother laughed gently. “Sometimes, love and crisis feel like the same thing.”
Theodora groaned and pressed her palms to her eyes.
Her mother’s tired expression softened. “You know, Theo, when I met your father, I felt the same confusion and fear. But I also felt a certain kind of… pull towards him.”
Theodora scoffed then quickly clapped a hand to her mouth.
“I apologize, Mother, I did not mean to?—”
Lady Dowell smiled but it did not hide the sadness in her eyes. “It is quite all right, Theo. I know that your father and I havenot been an ideal example to you and your sister. But despite everything, I believe we built a beautiful life together.”
Theodora stiffened.
A beautiful life.
Her stomach twisted painfully with truth and guilt. She felt suddenly lightheaded as she made her way to the edge of her bed. She sat beside her mother, hands trembling slightly. Lady Dowell continued to smile sweetly at her, completely oblivious to the secrets Theodora kept hidden within her mind.
Perhaps it is time I confessed all my truths.
Alexander’s words came to her then and as she looked at her mother, she could not deny that he was right. That she deserved to know the truth.
“Mother… there is something I must tell you,” she whispered.
Her mother’s brow furrowed with concern. “What is it?”
Theodora swallowed hard. Her throat felt tight as her chest constricted. She had carried her father’s secrets for months, letting them rot inside her. She had told herself it wasn’t her place and that it would destroy her mother.
But it was a white lie that she told herself to feel better about the situation. The truth mattered more than anything.
“I saw Father,” she whispered shakily, “with another woman.”
Lady Dowell went still then whispered so softly that Theodora almost missed it, “Theodora, do not jest about such things! If you are trying to change the topic then?—”
“It is the truth, Mother!” Theodora exclaimed breathlessly before she continued, “While you were at Bath, I was meant to stay with Evelina, but I changed my mind and came home. The house was quiet; the servants were gone and that was when I caught Father with another woman. I did not know what to do. I did not know how to tell you because I did not want to hurt you.” She could not hold back the tears any longer as the truth spilled out of her.
Her mother stared at her, shock, and pain flickering across her face like cracks in porcelain.
