“No,” her mother said simply. “I waited here in your chamber. Alone and praying that you were safe and would return.”
Relief washed over Theodora; the feeling was so strong that her knees nearly buckled. At least the scandal was contained. At least her father didn’t know and the servants weren’t whispering. But her mother?—
She took a breath. “Mother… I was simply at Evelina’s; there was no need to fret.”
“Theo,” Lady Dowell said softly, “do not lie to me.”
Theodora’s eyes stung, but she held back the tears that threatened to fall.
“I am afraid to tell you the truth,” she choked on her words.
Her mother’s eyes widened. “And what is the truth?”
“I…” Theodora clasped her hands nervously together, trying to steady them.
“Why are you afraid to speak? I am your mother; you should be able to talk to me about anything.”
Her words pierced Theodora’s heart.
If I cannot confess one truth, I shall confess another.
“Mother…I have been conducting a scientific experiment.”
Her mother frowned. “That is no surprise. You are always conducting experiments. Is this experiment the reason you are sneaking into your chambers before the sunrise?”
“Yes, but this is a very…specific kind of experiment.” Theodora spoke slowly, forcing her voice to remain steady.
Lady Dowell crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, go on then? What is it about?”
Theodora inhaled deeply. “It is on human behavior, emotional responses and…on courtship.”
Lady Dowell’s eyes widened. “Oh, Theodora… are you saying that you have met someone?”
Theodora nearly choked. “Yes, but it is not what you think it is…or what you hope for it to be.”
Her mother approached her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “You can tell me, my dear.”
“All I know is that I am most definitely not in love.” Theodora shook her head but even as she said the words, she felt doubtful.
She had no idea what she was feeling because she had not yet processed her time with Alexander and what had transpired between them.
Lady Dowell smiled knowingly. “Of course. It isjustan experiment.”
“Yes.” Theodora nodded but something about the way her mother looked at her made her question what she was really thinking. “Mother…although it is just an experiment, I must confess that my judgment was compromised by one of the men involved.”
Her mother gasped. “Compromised?”
“Not like that,” Theodora said quickly, mortified. “I meant I was emotionally compromised. He—the subject interfered with my data.”
Her mother gave her a gentle look. “Oh, Theodora, this is wonderful!”
Theodora frowned. “I disagree. It is not wonderful,” she said, pacing. “It is disastrous. I—” She cut herself off, face burning asshe thought about all the improper, sinful things she had done with Alexander. Things she could not and would not tell her mother or any living soul.
All in the name of science.
She turned to her mother but didn’t stop her pacing.
“Go on, Theo,” Lady Dowell prodded.
