“When will I see you again?” he repeated the question.
Her eyes flickered away for a moment. “I… I am not sure.”
His chest tightened with questionable fear. “Not sure?”
She shook her head. “I do not know what will happen after I enter that house.”
He clenched his jaw.
“If anyone hurts you, I will?—”
“That will not happen,” she interjected but didn’t explain any further.
“Very well,” Alexander said quietly. “But Iwillsee you again.”
It was not a question.
Alexander hesitantly opened the carriage door and Theodora slipped out. His mind spiraled out of control.
“Thank you, Alex,” she said softly.
“For what, Theo?” His fist tightened around the handle so he would not be tempted to reach for her again.
“For everything.” She smiled and his breath caught at the sight of her.
Before he could respond, Theodora turned and walked through the trees towards Dowell House. Alexander watched her go and a poisonous dread filled his heart. He leaned back in the seat, exhaling shakily.
Why did her words sound like a goodbye?
CHAPTER 23
Theodora felt as though she was holding her breath as she slipped through the side entrance of Dowell House. The world was quiet and suspended at that fragile moment before a catastrophe arrived and the world was changed. Her heart hammered in her chest as she eased the door shut behind her and she felt relieved that she was met with silence.
Everyone is still asleep. How is that possible?
She pressed her back against the door and exhaled shakily. She had expected lit lamps in every window, servants whispering, and her father pacing the foyer with thunder in his eyes. But the house was still and peaceful.
That is good.
She needed time and space to think. Her mind was a storm brewing with thoughts of Alexander’s hands, voice, kiss, andnow his lovemaking. Even the haunted look he gave her when he asked if he would see her again stirred absurd feelings within her.
She wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
Theodora tiptoed up the stairs, careful to avoid the creaky step near the landing. Her chamber was only a few feet away. She could slip inside, close the door, and finally analyze everything that had happened. There was an urgency to write her new observations. She opened her door slowly, walked through the small space, and shut it silently behind her.
Her eyes landed on the desk and drawer with her notebook in it. Theodora rushed towards it, lit the lantern, took out her notebook, quill and ink and was just about to sit when she heard a small voice coming from her bed.
“Theodora Dowell, where have you been?”
Theodora turned slowly towards the voice and saw her mother sitting on her bed with sleep deprived eyes and mussed up hair.
Her stomach dropped. “Mother—I?—”
Lady Dowell got up abruptly. She looked pale, exhausted, and deeply worried.
“I woke to find your bed empty,” she said, stepping closer. “I searched the house. I checked the garden and nearly woke your father. I have been terrified something happened to you!”
Theodora swallowed her guilt. “Did you… wake Father?”
