Your actions are not those described in the texts or shown in the holos, the Osiris pointed out.
“Some things are not recorded for others to know.” He grimaced once more as he understood the AI’s unease. “You fear my hesitation comes from not wanting to serve the Pilot.”
The cursor blinked.
“Do you understand the concept of family?” he asked.
The word “family” can denote many different groups of inter-related people either by genetics or choice, the Osiris answered. What do you mean by family?
It was a challenging question.
“I will no longer be able to speak to my parents as their son again,” Khoth stated.
But you will be able to save them, the Osiris answered.
Khoth blinked. “Because--”
The only way to defeat the Khul is through the Pilot and through me, the words came fast and furious again filling up the empty space in neat rows. While they will not speak to you, they will be capable of speech. If you had not acted, that would not be the case in the future.
“You are very certain of this.”
I have run the variables. I have come to conclusions. You do not have all the facts. You cannot do this, the Osiris answered.
Khoth considered this. “There is so much I wish to ask you. So many facts I would like to know.”
Perhaps in time I will supply you with certain information, the Osiris answered. But I require loyalty to the Pilot. Your hesitation shows a lack of commitment on your part to the Pilot. I would share nothing with one who is not committed.
“I understand.”
And he did. Why should the Osiris trust him? Unless it was certain of his commitment to Jace, he guessed it would remain silent. It might even remain silent on the many things it knew even if he showed such loyalty. He was committed to whatever course would destroy the Khul.
But that is different from loyalty to Jace, he realized.
His heart felt heavy in his chest. He felt so many things for the young man. A connection he had never experienced before. A sense of almost instant familiarity even though Jace was so different from himself. A desire to protect. A desire to couple. Heat flooded him and he shook his head. To have thoughts of lust during the Ulgegiarth Ritual was inappropriate.
I need to return to Jace. My mother--High Councillor Voor--will arrive shortly.
Yet despite this determination to return to Jace as quickly as possible he still had to force himself to go over to the mat and sit cross-legged upon him facing the altar. His hands stirred restlessly upon his knees but he made no move for the knife. The selchilite clacked in his hair. It was the last time that he would hear it. No exiled Thaf’ell wore the beads for they had no family, no friends, no home.
His left hand rose up almost of its own accord to the lower selchilite. His fingers ran over their smooth surface. Each one had a story that spoke to the Voor family history. Their triumphs. No defeats, of course. Bravery and loss. Victory and cost. They were to add a bead for Daesah’s death. Now he would never get to bear that bead.
He reached for the ritual dagger known as the Tyrhung. The blade was wickedly sharp. A brush of it against skin would cause a cut. His right hand hovered over the dagger’s elaborate hilt.
I should hurry, he told himself, but his hand did not move.
The Pilot is at the door to your quarters, the Osiris stated.
“He must need me. I have delayed too long.”
Khoth carelessly lowered his hand to the Tyrhung and sliced his pointer finger on the blade. He let out a hiss and immediately sucked on the blood that oozed out of the cut.
The Pilot wishes to enter and to speak with you, the Osiris informed him.
“I will be done in a moment! Please--”
“Khoth? Oh, whoa, this place looks different, I… did you hurt yourself?!” Jace immediately was at his side. He took Khoth’s wounded hand and drew it down so he could look at it. “It’s not too deep. I think a Band-Aid will do the trick unless we have super secret healing potions I can--No, no, Osiris. We're still doing injections.”
“Injections?” Khoth asked even as he was far more interested and keenly aware of the warmth of Jace’s hand holding his.
