He makes this low sound in his throat. It’s barely anything, but it still hits me straight in the spine.
I slap on a smile even though my cock’s acting feral. “Morning, Ocean Eyes. You alive?”
Nil drags an arm over his face. “Yeah,” he mutters. Then he squints at me, unfocused. “You’re up early.”
“Didn’t sleep.” I chuckle. “Sleep is for people who aren’t terrified of their own feelings.”
He stares, looking like he’s processing what I said. “You saying you’re terrified?”
“No, fuck, I’m just nervous,” I shoot back. “You know what happens when I’m nervous? I talk. Then I talk more. Then someone begs me to stop, but here you are, unconscious all morning, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Never do that again.”
He groans and sits up. “What time is it?”
“Time for us to shower before the rush,” I say. “Also time for me to warn you that I might be emotionally compromised today.”
His eyes open a little wider. “Why?”
“Kys,” I answer in a heartbeat. “Definitely Kys. If I feel anything dramatic, it’s the pharmaceutical sabotage working its magic.”
Nil blinks slowly. “Stan,” he says. “You’re usually like this.”
“True, but for the past couple of days, I’ve had a convenient Kys excuse.”
Nil climbs down the ladder. His brown hair’s still sticking up on one side. His eyes are half-closed. “You okay, Stan?”
“No,” I answer. “I’m running on no sleep, leftover caffeine, and unprocessed feelings.”
He grunts. That’s it. That’s the whole response. I take it as encouragement.
We walk the rest of the way with me talking nonstop and him existing prettily. He’s blinking slow, trying to follow my stream of nonsense.
“So I was thinking,” I say as the changing room doors slide open, “if I die today from mental overload, you can have my knives. But not the shotgun. He needs someone who knows how to stroke him right.”
Nil pushes into a shower door, still half-asleep. “Stan,” he says, dragging out my name like he’s too tired to finish it. “Please. Stop talking for a second.”
I hold my breath for that long. “Was that a second?”
He sighs, but it sounds affectionate. Or maybe I’m hallucinating affection. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve hallucinated feelings.
We’re split into opposite stalls. I turn on the water and say, “All I’m saying is if Kys makes me cry today, don’t freak out.”
From the next stall, Nil’s voice comes slow and rough. “Why wouldKys make you cry?”
“Oh, you know,” I say, scrubbing shampoo into my hair. “Heightened emotions. Fragile psyche. Being too handsome for my own good. It all adds up.”
“Stan…”
“Yeah, Ocean Eyes?”
“We’re gonna be okay.” I can hear him yawn so cutely. “You know that, right?”
Oh, my chest feels sorta tight. “Uh, yeah?” I mumble while I rest a fist against my ribs.
“Okay,” he murmurs. “No matter what, I got your back.”
My ribs squeeze so hard, I almost miss the water temp changing on me. I’m freezing my ass off from this shower, but my cheeks are burning hot. Why does he say things like that? Why does he sound like he means it?
My hand slides up against the wall between us. “Yeah? I got your back too, Ocean Eyes.”
