Every contract. Every mission. Every bargain.
A lie. A deception.
All those people I killed. All those lives I ruined.
It was all for nothing. A waste. An abomination.
I was a cold-blooded killer. Not for the good of my court, but for a pretender who didn’t belong on the throne. For someone who used me as her puppet to eliminate threats to her rule. I had always disliked the way Calista had ruled, but I had never considered it my place to question it. I had somehow convinced myself that it was for the best.
I sagged backward against the brick wall, my chest wound up so tightly that I couldn’t breathe. Eira’s warm hands pressed against my cheeks. I stared down at her, struggling to see straight, to think clearly…
Then, those ice-blue eyes were holding mine. Grounding me. Anchoring me. Keeping me still. I gazed into them, drowning in them, and my heart rate slowed. The raging inferno of my thoughts quieted. There was only her andthose frosty eyes. Eyes I would gladly fall into and never come out of.
My breathing reached a steady, even pace. Her gaze continued to pin me in place.
When all was quiet within me, I said softly, “It is easier for me to dismiss your claim because then it won’t completely unravel my life and my past sins. Even if, deep down, I know what you say is the truth, right now… I can’t accept it. Not yet. Not until my mind—myheart—can fully process the crimes I have committed on behalf of an imposter.” My voice broke on the last sentence, and the lump in my throat tightened. My eyes stung, and my chest constricted again.
But I forced myself to look into the icy depths of those eyes, to let her soothe the heat roiling in my gut. I didn’t deserve it. But I was still grateful for it.
I hadn’t realized a tear had streaked down my cheek until Eira caught it with her thumb and smoothed it away. Her own eyes were moist as she said to me, “I understand. But you aren’t a monster, Theron. I never thought you were. And even if you do accept my truth, it doesn’t make you evil for what you did. You were only trying to free yourself.”
I shook my head and sniffed, dropping my gaze. “It’s not good enough.”
For years, I had only thought of myself andmyfreedom. Meanwhile, humans like Eira, along with the unseelie, were being persecuted and hunted on Calista’s orders.
I had known about their suffering. And I’d donenothing.
I might not have had a choice in my assignments. But I was still afforded freedoms. As a member of the court, there were ways I could have helped. I could have quietly defied Calista, finding ways around our bargains.
I could have done so much more.
A sudden, searing pain shot through my head, setting me ablaze. Fire burned in my veins. I crumpled, and Eira and the alley disappeared from view. Blackness swallowed me whole as Calista’s face appeared in my mind.
Kill her,she commanded.You must kill the princess.
“Eira,” I groaned, my voice sounding far away. I was fading. Soon, Calista would claim me. But I had one ounce of clarity left. I had to make it count. “Eira,cut me.”
Theron’s eyeswere all black again. I backed away from him, my heart stuttering in my chest.
Not again. Not now.
His cheek was still moist from his tears. I thought of his broken expression, the tormented look in his eyes. He was so burdened by his sins. By his self-loathing.
And now, Calista had hold of him once more.
Fresh rage burned within me at the thought of my horrid stepmother and what she was doing to Theron. She was torturing him. Taking away his free will.
Caging him.
“You can’t have him, you bitch,” I growled, gritting my teeth as I drew closer to Theron. He groaned in pain, sagging backward and blinking rapidly.
He was fighting. Pride swelled in my heart.
Taking advantage of his inner struggle, I drew another one of his knives. I angled it above his wrist, then hesitated. I cast a quick glance around the darkened alley.
No one was around. It was still nighttime, and with the curfew, very few civilians were wandering about.
I brought the blade closer, then hissed in a sharp breath. Damn. I really didn’t want to hurt him.
