I sighed, running a hand down my face. “How do you know this? Tell me specifics.”
“I was watching from the hall when Calista was raging to our captain of the guards that a commander wasn’t answering her summons,” Eira said, wringing her hands together. “She ordered the guards to find him at any cost. Turned out, he was in the infirmary. He had been attacked by a gang of bandits, and they’d cut off his arm. He died later that day.”
Perfect.So the only successful instance of resisting Calista’s power had been enough blood loss to kill a man. I swallowed hard, my mind straining to find a solution to this that didn’t involve me dying.
A necromancer holds the threads of life in their hands, whether it’s to preserve a life or to end it.
Lavinia’s words rang in my head. Though I loathed the healer for her betrayal, I knew she’d spoken the truth.
I had the power of life and death in my hands.
But my magic was still new to me. I couldn’t even wield it properly when I was at full strength, let alone suffering from blood loss. How could I be certain I could survive?
Eira crossed her arms over her chest. “I see that calculating mind of yours working hard. What are you thinking right now?”
I huffed a dry laugh. “I’m thinking I’m either going to die from blood loss or from the fae bargain claiming me. The odds are pretty bleak.”
Eira placed a hand on my arm, her blue eyes earnest. “I’ll keep you alive as best I can. We can take this slow. A little blood at a time. I’m sure that every drop you lose weakens her power bit by bit.”
My nostrils flared, agitation rising up inside me. I was so damnhelpless. I was a liability, and I would be slowing Eira down. She had plans to put in motion, and now I was standing in the way. My chest tightened with apprehension. “Eira, if I’m injured, I can’t protect you.”
She blinked, her expression startled. “You don’t need to. Our bargain only statedyoucouldn’t harm me.”
I made a noise of frustration and placed my hands on her waist, pulling her closer. Her eyes widened slightly. “I don’t think you understand,” I said in a low voice. “I don’t care what Calista has ordered me to do. I can’t see you hurt. It would be far worse for me to have to watchyousuffer than to endure whatever horrors Calista has in store for me.”
Eira’s breath hitched, and she moistened her lips. My gaze darted down to her mouth—a mouth I knew tasted as soft and smooth as rose petals. “I—I don’t think you mean that.”
My brows knitted together. “Why not?”
She gave a short exhale, her expression full of incredulity. She let a hand fall on her thigh. “Are you serious? You called medelusionalearlier. Forgive me for not believing that you care about me all that much.”
My eyes closed as shame crept into my chest. She was right. She had every reason to despise me. Hell, I even despised myself. A lump formed in my throat, and I found it difficult to swallow. “I… regret the words I said to you earlier,” I said in a strained voice. “I’m sorry.”
“Does that mean you believe me now?”
A dull throb began to pound through my skull, making it hard to concentrate. Blood and ice, I couldn’tthinkright now. I couldn’t find the right words to say. Anytime I spoke, I only made things worse.
All I did was hurt her over and over again. It was all I was capable of doing.
Pain. My job, mylife, was only meant to inflict pain.
I inhaled deeply, my insides quivering from the intensity of my thoughts. I had to make her understand that Iwason her side… but I was also conflicted. About my life. My purpose.Everything.
Slowly, my eyes opened to find hers full of hope and vulnerability. She was worried I would dismiss her claims again and call her insane.
Delusional.I’d actually said that.
I was such an asshole.
“I don’t know,” I said at last. When her expression fell, I slid my knuckle under her chin, forcing her to meet my eyes. “Please let me finish.”
She took a shuddering breath and nodded, urging me to continue.
“You have to understand that I’ve been working forCalista for over a decade. That’s more than ten years of my life I’ve devoted to killing in her name. For the good of our court. For the good of my people. Or… so I thought.” My hands began to shake, so I dropped my arms to my sides, clutching my fingers into tight fists. “If what you say is true, then that means that everything I’ve done, all the lives I’ve taken… the blood that’s on my hands, it… it…” I broke off with an anguished groan, running my hands through my hair. My head wasspinning. My thoughts were flitting about so quickly I couldn’t make sense of them.
Calista, a Demon Fae.
Could Eira’s claim be true? If it was… Gods, it would change everything.
