“But why?”
“I’m just so fucking angry I couldn’t protect you from being hurt.”
Tears burned my eyes at his words of remorse. “You were just a kid yourself.”
“I was a fighter before Preacher Man got me. I could have taken that fucking pervert out.”
I shook my head. “No one could have done anything to stop it from happening. Thankfully, Preacher Man ended it.”
Deacon threw down his cigarette and stubbed out the glowing embers. “More than anything, I hate you thought you couldn’t tell me. That I would think differently of you or something.”
“I’m sorry. Preacher Man thought it best not to tell anyone.”
With a snort, Deacon replied, “I think the old man’s greatest fault was his fucking secrets. It was one thing for him to keep them, but he shouldn’t have imposed them on his kids.”
My brows furrowed with confusion. Was Deacon hiding a secret of his own?
He reached in his cut and lit up another cigarette. I fought the urge to tell him he needed to cut the shit out now he had a kid and one on the way. “When I was fifteen, Preacher Man found where my real father was. He offered to let me be the one to put a bullet in him.” Deacon stared at me straight on. “So I did.”
“Jesus,” I muttered. I had no idea anything like that had ever happened. I just knew Deacon’s biological father disappeared after he killed Deacon’s mother.
“Guess you could say I started early with my body count.”
“You had every right to take that motherfucker to ground, Deacon. Just like Preacher Man had every right to kill Kurt.”
Deacon exhaled a puff of smoke and then grinned. “Don’t think I’ve spent one single night wishing I hadn’t killed my old man.”
“I didn’t think you had. It’s just a lot for a fifteen-year-old kid to have to deal with.”
“You can say that again.” Then in a move so uncharacteristically Deacon, he pulled me to him for a hug. “I love you, brother. Always have and always will.”
It took me a moment to process his words. Deacon and Bishop hadn’t told me they loved me over the years, but then again, they hadn’t needed to. I just knew. But knowing now that both my brothers would have defended me, killed Kurt for me, branded me with a different strength. Solidarity within family as well as within the Raiders. I did, however, fear how Mama would react. This would break her heart.
I smacked his back and squeezed him tight. “I love you, too.”
As he pulled away, I thought for a brief second I saw a tear in his eye, but I quickly dispelled that thought. Nothing made Deacon cry. He jerked his head at the door. “Enough of the emotional bullshit. Let’s go in there and get shitfaced.”
I laughed. “Sounds like a plan.”
With a wink, he said, “First round’s on me.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN ANNABEL
The next morning once again found me in a strange room and a strange bed. When the familiar feeling of panic began to creep over me, I closed my eyes and tried focusing on the fact that it wasn’t completely foreign since it was Rev’s room and Rev’s bed. Even though I had protested that he not sleep on the couch, he had refused to hear me out. I felt dwarfed as I stretched in the massive king-sized bed. When the comforter brushed across my face, I instantly smelled Rev’s masculine scent, and I finally felt safe, protected…cared for.
A knock at the door had me shooting up in bed. “Yes?”
Rev poked his head in. “I just wanted to see if you were awake.”
I offered him a smile. “I woke up a few minutes ago, but I’m lying here being lazy.”
“I wouldn’t call it being lazy. It’s more like you need the rest.”
“Yes, Dr. Malloy.”
“Anyway, I came in to see if you wanted some breakfast.”
“Yes, but I can fix it. I don’t want you to wait on me.”
