“Fuck me,” he muttered before he went into the house.
Annabel came out on the deck to join me.
“Would you really be all right staying here for an hour or two?”
“Of course I would.”
“You’re not just saying that, are you? I know how women will say one thing when they totally mean another.”
Annabel laughed. “Rev, I’m a politician’s daughter. I’ve been raised to work a crowd of strangers. Regardless of what I’ve recently been through, I think I can handle a few hours with the girls.”
“Don’t speak too soon. Willow can wear anyone out in a matter of minutes.”
At the mention of Willow, Annabel’s eyes lit up. “She’s adorable, and I love how she has all the men around here wrapped around her little finger.”
“Yes, I can see where you would find it amusing that three hardened bikers are totally owned by a six-year-old little girl.”
“Exactly.”
Deacon appeared in the doorway. “I did your part too, brother. So are we on?”
Annabel threw a look at Deacon over her shoulder. “Yes, he’s on.” Before I could argue with her, she added, “Make sure he has a good time. He deserves to unwind and cut loose.”
Deacon grinned at Annabel. “It will be my pleasure.” He came over and grabbed my arm. “Come on.”
Although I was still a little reluctant, I allowed Rev to drag me off the porch. As I got to the bottom of the steps, I glanced back at Annabel. She smiled and waved.
Our boots crunched along the gravel road. Deacon lit up a cigarette, and when he offered one to me, I decided to take one. I needed to settle my nerves a bit for what I was about to do.
We passed by Case’s place, which had been rebuilt in the six months since his death. Kim and her kids still resided there, even though there wasn’t a patch member in the house. Part ofthe Raiders creed was to care for our old ladies, and until she remarried, Kim was still an old lady.
I realized then an overwhelming sense of irony that the house had burned down. Before it had been Case’s, it had been Miss Mae’s. The physical dwelling where I had lost my innocence in such a brutal way no longer existed. By telling first Annabel and then Bishop, I had begun to demolish my own house of secrets.
When we reached the backdoor of the roadhouse, I stepped in front of Deacon. “You got a minute before we go inside?”
He took a long drag on his cigarette. “Yeah, sure. What’s up?”
I flicked the ashes off mine before I spoke. “There’s something I need to tell you—something I should have told you sixteen years ago.”
Deacon’s expression darkened in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s the reason why Breakneck called me out of all the guys when Sarah was in trouble.”
“I’m listening.”
My chest tightened as I braced myself to once again unburden myself. Maybe the third time was the charm because this time seemed to go a little easier. When I finished, I didn’t have the quickening, anxious breaths or the erratic heartbeat as I had before.
I took another drag on my cigarette and waited for Deacon to respond. What he did next shocked the hell out of me. With all the strength he had, he shoved me against the back door. “What the fuck?” I demanded.
His dark eyes narrowed on me. “Why? Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t tell anyone. Not even Mama Beth knows. Once I told Annabel, I realized my brothers and my mother had a right to know.”
“Jesus, Rev,” Deacon muttered through gritted teeth.
“This wasn’t exactly the reaction I expected you to have.”
He released my shirt and took a step back. After jerking a hand through his hair, he shook his head. “I’m not mad at you, brother. I’m mad at myself.”
