“I had peace,” I finished for her.
“Yes,” she murmured.
“I was pretty volatile there for a while after what happened to me. The emotions coupled with preteen hormones made me explosive. I was throwing punches at my brothers, at kids at school. It was when I took a swing at Breakneck that he realized I needed an outlet.”
“Will you teach me the technique?”
“Sure. If you think it will help.”
“Yeah, I do.” She gave me a small smile. “Thank you, Rev.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes. Then I braced myself to unburden myself even further. “The answer is yes.”
“Excuse me?”
“Yes, I tried to hurt myself.”
Her green eyes widened. “What did you do?” she questioned in a whisper.
“I tried to hang myself in my closet.”
Although she had tried slitting her wrists not a half an hour ago, Annabel’s hand flew to her mouth in shock. “Oh no.”
“The months after the rape were almost as bad as the day itself. Within just a few weeks, my old man left his church. He started drinking again, moved out of the house. My mothercried all the time. My brothers had no clue what had caused the seismic shift in our family, but I did. It was all my fault. I had caused my father to kill a man, to leave his wife and family, and to leave his church.”
“You poor thing,” Annabel whispered.
“So I took a belt, tied it to the rack in the closet, and then tied it to my neck. I didn’t leave a note. I just climbed up on the chair and stepped off—” Annabel’s gasp of horror caused me to momentarily pause. “But my weight was too much for the rack, and it collapsed to the floor.” For a moment, I was that scared, devastated little boy all over again. I could feel his pain and desperation just as strong as when I was first experiencing it.
“You never tried it again?” Annabel asked.
I shook my head. “No, it was around then that Breakneck reached out to me. Maybe he had a soft spot for cases like mine because he had experienced something similar in the past. Or maybe he just wanted to help out a brother’s kid. At first, I wondered if he was just some other pervert like Kurt. But then I remembered how kind he had been the day my father had taken me to him. So, I started going with Breakneck when he worked at the free clinic down in Atlanta. I got to help out doing small chores, which kept my mind occupied, and at the same time, I got to see people who were far worse off than me.”
“And that’s what eventually helped you move on?”
“That and time. The old adage about it healing all wounds is true. Of course, the pain is never completely forgotten. It’s more like it lies buried below the surface. Certain sights, smells, or sounds can bring it back.”
Annabel brought a blood-stained hand to tenderly touch my cheek. “Thank you for saving me. Again.”
My brows shot up in surprise. “You really mean that?”
Cocking her head to the side, she remained contemplative for a moment. Then her eyes once again met mine. “Yes, I do.”
It was at that moment that Breakneck appeared in the doorway. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered with wide eyes.
Annabel snatched her hand away from my cheek and then ducked her head from Breakneck’s stare. Shielding her from the barrage of questions I knew he wanted to ask, I said, “Annabel needs you to take a look at her wrists. She may need stitching. I’ll clean up in here.”
When he realized exactly what had transpired, his lips pinched tightly together. I could imagine in that head of his he was silently seething.
With a wince, I pulled myself off the ground. Unsteady on my wounded leg, I weaved back and forth for a moment. Once I was stable, I reached down to help Annabel up. She couldn’t bring herself to look me in the eye, so I gently put my finger under her chin and tipped her gaze to mine. “You let Breakneck take care of you while I clean up. Then if you’re feeling up to it, you can get a shower, or we can get one of the nurses to clean you up. Okay?”
She nodded and then padded barefooted out of the bathroom. With an agitated sigh, Breakneck turned to go, but I grabbed his arm. “Don’t,” I hissed under my breath.
“Don’t what?” he demanded.
“Don’t be hard on her.”
His eyes flashed with rage before he pushed me inside the bathroom and shut the door. “You want me to coddle a girl who almost threw her life away this morning? A girl who should be fucking grateful she’s alive at all when so many aren’t?”
