He nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t want to do too much too soon, but I knew I was giving it to you one way or another. I saw the way you looked at it, and I knew it would make you happy. I’ve been on you since the beginning.”
“I didn’t even realize you noticed me looking at it.”
“I noticed.” He brought the back of my hand to his lips. “I notice everything about you.”
“It had been six weeks since we were at Edwina’s, so when I got the journal, it completely caught me by surprise.” I bit my lip, thinking back to the moment. “I did feel loved… and seen.”
“Good. Because you are—loved and seen.”
“Doyoufeel loved and seen?”
“On our first date, when I let you read my business plan, I knew I had it bad. But when you got it and you added to it, I knew you saw me. So yeah.” He paused. “Now that I think about it, I’ve been in love with you since then.”
My heart thumped with his admission.
“Lamar.” I placed my free hand on my chest and felt the steady rhythm. “You’ve been there for me in ways you’ll never fully understand, and I’ve loved you for it,” I told him, staring at his profile. “I needed to be seen as me and to get lost in feeling good, and you did that for me. I needed to work, and you allowed me to help you with your business plan. I needed to connect and feel safe, and you showed up in my life and did just that. I fell in love with you and didn’t realize it because this summer was a lot. So thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me, baby. I’d do anything for you. And you had a lot going on this summer. Even though I didn’t know initially what was happening, I knew I didn’t want to rush you. I knew I didn’t want to lose you. And I knew we had something different.”
I squeezed his hand, running my thumb over his skin. “I didn’t want to lose you either. I wanted to be with you, but I was willing to be your friend since you didn’t have time for more. And since I knew I was losing my aunt, I couldn’t take the thought of losing you, too.”
“I was never going anywhere. I’ve been locked in from jump.”
“I felt it, but I didn’t know for sure. And then, when I said I love you for the first time and you didn’t—”
“I wasn’t ready to say it out loud, and you weren’t ready to hear it,” he interrupted gently. “And even though I couldn’t say it, I did everything I could to make sure you were good, to take care of you, to keep you happy, safe, and wanting for nothing. And that won’t ever change.”
“I love how you get me,” I told him. “In my life, there have onlybeen four people to instantly just get me: Aunt Addy, Aaliyah, Nina, and you.” I bit my lip, not sure why that statement was about to bring me to tears. “You showed up exactly when I needed you, and I didn’t even tell you why I needed you. That’ll always mean everything to me.”
“That was me showing you I love you. I knew you needed to keep what was happening with Aunt Addy to yourself for a minute. I didn’t know why, but if I could give that to you, I would. So I did.”
“Ididneed that,” I murmured, feeling emotional when he glanced over at me.
“You never lied to me, but you sidestepped the hell out of questions,” he joked.
“I don’t want to ever keep anything from you again, but I appreciate you giving me that.”
“I meant it when I said I’d give you anything you want or need.”
Gazing at him, I considered calling out of work.I love him.
He cleared his throat. “But, uh… since we’re not keeping things from each other…”
His long pause made me nervous.
“You’re keeping something from me?” I asked with my eyebrow quirked.
He held my hand tighter. “When you said you didn’t have a safe place in Chance, I paid for the library to finish the gazebo.”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait—what?” It took a minute for me to register what he’d said. My watery eyes bulged. “Lamar! That was you?!”
He nodded. “You said you didn’t have your safe place, so I—”
Climbing over the middle console, I kissed him. My lips brushed against his firmly enough to stop myself from crying. “I can’t believe you did that,” I whispered, moving back to my seat to ensure he could see since we were still going sixty-five miles per hour.
“If I couldn’t be there to protect you or to make you feel safe, I didn’t mind paying to make sure you had a place go while back home.” He paused. “That was me telling you I love you.”
I stared at him in disbelief, no longer able to hold back the tears. I was at a loss for words.
