Before I could dismount him, he grabbed my hips and held me in place. As soon as our eyes locked, his fingers dug into my flesh. “I love you,” he repeated, slightly louder than before.
I swallowed hard, emotion welling up in my throat. “I love you.”
His hands caressed my thighs as seconds passed between us. Rolling us on our side, he easily repositioned me to his left side. His fingertips danced over my skin. “As soon as my dick felt you…” He let out a long, heated breath. “I was done.”
“It was reckless,” I admitted.
“Do you regret it?” he wondered.
“Not at all. Do you?”
“Hell no.” He turned his head so that our eyes met. “If you wanted me to put a baby in you, all you had to do was say the word.”
I snickered. “Lamar! You know I have an IUD.”
He pulled me in even closer. “I know, I’m just playing. But…”
My heart thumped. “But what?”
“Right now, I’m playing.” He sighed. “But eventually…”
“You want a kid?”
“I want a kidwith you.”
Our desire slowly leaked out of me at the same time as his whispered confession, and it shocked my system.
Staring at him, I was trying to process what he’d said. “You do?”
“I want the whole thing with you—the marriage, the kid, the life.”
My mouth hung open, and his name fell out of my mouth breathlessly. “Lamar.”
“Not today,” he assured me. “But one day.”
He fell asleep almost immediately after he’d said it, but I was wide awake. I thought about it until he woke up half an hour later.
Since we both had early mornings, I insisted on taking a rideshare car back to Richland early in the morning. I didn’t want to be late to work, but it would be extremely difficult to leave Lamar. When my alarm went off, Lamar got up and said he was taking me anyway. We ordered coffee from a donut shop ten minutes away, and before we got on the road, that was our first stop.
I took a sip. “This is going to have me up for a week.”
He chuckled. “They’re going to try to test me for speed or some shit.”
“What’s in this? Cocaine? Why is it so strong? I can’t teach while I’m high!”
“What the hell, Jazz?” He cracked up.
We stopped again so he could get me another caffeinated drink.
“You’re so sweet,” I said as he handed me the only soda I drink. “You do these little things that show me so much love, and I just…” I sighed dreamily. “When did you know you were in love with me?”
“Let Erickson tell it, it was in Dubai.” I reached over and intertwined my hand with his. “And honestly, maybe it was. But when I knew for sure was when I realized how many choices I was making where the goal was simply to make sure you’re good. I want you to be happy. I want to protect you. I want to make your life easier.” He paused as if he were deciding if he was going to continue.
“Tell me,” I encouraged softly, squeezing his hand.
“The day after our first date, I called Edwina’s, the bookstore we went to, and bought that leather journal I saw you looking at. I knew this was different then.”
My lips parted as I stared at him in awe. “You did?”
