“And I’m sorry,” Aaliyah apologized. “You wouldn’t even be in this bullshit if Mecca’s nosy ass didn’t post the picture online. I already told her about herself. But I feel like this is kinda on me. Mecca’s bullshit put you both in some mess.”
I shook my head. “It’s not on you,” I assured her. “And, Nina, I get what you’re saying. But Chance scarred me. I don’t ever want to go back to the version of myself that place created. And all day at work, I had to fight the feeling of being in a high school, being publicly ridiculed, and not knowing when it was going to end. I had students whispering, and granted, they’re teenagers, and it could’ve been about anything. But it was the kids that I know watch football.”
“I get that,” Nina said gently. “You deserve better than this. And I would love to tell you that it won’t ever happen again, but it might. Not to this degree. It’s like this right now because it’s new and because they’re trying to figure out what’s up with Lamar. Once he sets the record straight, the whole thing will be a nonissue.”
“That’s why you should talk to him as soon as possible,” Aaliyah added. “In an ideal world, what would you want?”
“I would want none of this to have ever happened,” I groaned, collapsing onto the couch.
“Meeting Lamar?” Aaliyah asked.
“No,” I balked. “I’m talking about the internet stuff. I don’t regret anything about meeting Lamar. I can’t imagine how things would be if I didn’t. But when we met, he was Lamar. And now he’sHollywood.” I opened my mouth to continue when I got an incoming call. Pulling the phone away from my ear, I saw who it was, and my eyes widened. “Lamar is beeping in right now!”
“Answer it!” Nina demanded. “Russ just got here anyway. So I’m going to go, too.”
“Answer it and call back and let us know what happens,” Aaliyah added.
“I will. Thank you!” I said in a rush before answering the incoming call.
26
“Hello?” I sounded as nervous as I felt.
“What’s up, Jazz?” Lamar greeted me.
“How are you? How was your day?”
“Typical Monday—we watch tape, we practice, we review. But one thing happened that was different: They had me break down what I saw on the first play of the game for me to get to the quarterback. That was a first.”
My nerves melted away hearing his excitement. Grinning, I pulled my legs onto the couch. “That’s so cool! How did it feel?”
“I’m not gonna lie, it felt good. It was nice having my hard work get recognized in front of my teammates and coaches like that. It’s one thing in the game when we’re all feeling it. It’s another thing to be a spectator and watch it on the screen, break down the plays. And remember when you suggested a class on contract law for the rookies who opted to not have an agent? Well, I was introduced to a woman today who just so happened to be a retired contract lawyer.”
“What?! That’s amazing! That’s the final piece. You have everything else you need if you can get her. Did you ask?”
“Nah, we were about to start practice. She was with someone in the front office. She was with the defensive coordinator’s mom or something. I don’t remember because once she said what she did, all I could think about was calling you.”
I bit down on my bottom lip, giddy. “Well, I hope you at least got her name.”
“And her email address.”
“Okay, I see you!” I giggled.
“Now tell me how you’re doing,” he insisted.
“I’m…” My words faded out, and my cheeks flushed. “It’s been a day.”
“What’s going on? Are you okay?”
The comments flashed in my mind, and anxiety washed over me.The fact that people weren’t voting for him because of me weighed on me. The risk of rejection, the public and private embarrassment, and the uncertainty of how our friendship would survive immobilized me.
“Jazz,” he uttered. “Talk to me.”
Just say it.I ordered myself to tell him about the social media shitshow. I opened my mouth, and no words would come out.
Swallowing my feelings, I changed the subject. “This school year is going to be a beast, and I’m overwhelmed with how much they expect us to do outside of actually teaching.”
“Oh shit, already? School just started! What are they asking you to do?”
