“Having the entire summer off helps.”
“I bet! But listen… did you see what I texted you earlier in the group chat? Because you didn’t say anything, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“You mean when you and Liyah were practicing your standup routine while my personal life was in shambles?”
“First of all,” Nina started, amused, “this level of dramatic response is hilarious. I’d expect that from Aaliyah, not you. Second, why is your personal life in shambles?”
I paced from one side of the room to the other. “So, you know how I was saying I liked Lamar? Yeah, well, turns out I… more than like him.” I took a deep breath. “I think I fell in love with him.”
Nina was quiet for a moment, and then she cleared her throat. “Jazz, I’m going to hold your hand when I say this… no shit.”
My mouth dropped. “Nina!”
“I’m sorry, but Jazz… it’s as clear as day! But I’ll give you a pass because we’ve all been in denial before. I get it.”
“I don’t think I was in denial. I honestly didn’t realize it until last night.”
“What happened last night?”
I gave her a quick recap of how the day had played out.
“Oh yeah,” Nina intoned. “No wonder you’re in love.”
“Nina!”
“I’m serious.” She paused. “Have you told him how you feel?”
I shook my head. “No! Of course not.”
“What’s stopping you?”
“I don’t to ruin anything. I don’t…”
I don’t want to tell him and lose him, I continued silently.
“You don’t what?” she probed gently. When I didn’t answer, she asked, “Do you want to be with him?”
“I…” I stopped the yes from rolling off my tongue, and my answer faltered.
After a few seconds of my stunned silence, Nina continued. “Okay, so real talk… you need to decide what you want first. If you want to be with him, tell him how you feel. If you don’t want to be with him, don’t tell him. Keep it how it is. But you figure out what you want first.”
I chewed my bottom lip.
I knew what I wanted. I wanted to be with him. I was scared to admit it aloud because if I admitted it, it became real.
And if it was real, I’d have to deal with it.
“But listen,” Nina demanded, reclaiming my attention, “the main reason I called you is to see if you saw the link I sent.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. When you asked me if I saw it, I thought you were talking about the jokes from this morning.”
“Those were hilarious, but no. This is something else.”
Sitting on the couch, I put the call on speakerphone and then went to the group chat. I saw a link and opened it in my web browser.
Maryland Monarchs Has a “Hollywood” Breakout Star.
The title alone pulled my lips into a smile.
