“Good night, Lamar.”
When the door shut behind him, I put my hand to my chest and exhaled.
21
I’m falling for Lamar.
I winced as I admitted it. Fear, anxiety, nerves, and apprehension swirled in my belly because friends with benefits was impossible to navigate when real feelings were involved. Every conversation, every date, and every moment between us had only amplified that. But it was clear to me only in that moment that I wanted to be more than friends.
Since when doIwant a relationship?
After being cheated on by my ex, a relationship with a professional athlete felt like setting myself up. And with his busy schedule and his new contract, if he hadn’t wanted a relationship before, it was unlikely he’d want one now.
So I can either tell him I want to be with him and lose him as a friend, or I can just not say anything, make the whole thing weird, and lose him as a friend.
Either way, I’d end up losing him, and I’d end up hurt.
Nope.
Grabbing my phone, I was going to take my predicament to the group chat when I saw I had texts from Lamar. But I couldn’t open them until I had a handle on my thoughts. I needed to be in the right mindset to respond to whatever he said. So I skipped over his name and noticed the group chat was already active that morning.
I glanced at the clock and then back at my phone because it was early.
Nina Ford:Is this who I think it is?
A photo was attached to the text.
Aaliyah James:Is that Jazz’s man?
Jazmyn Payne:To answer Nina’s question, if you think this was my date to Aaliyah’s party, then yes.
Aaliyah James:Just a date? Because you two looked like more…
So it hadn’t just felt like something more at Aaliyah’s party—other people had seen it, too.
Jazmyn Payne:Despite what it looked like, we’re friends. Friends with benefits but friends, nonetheless.
Nina Ford:Now I know a lie when I read it.
My stomach lurched. If I couldn’t convince my best friends that Lamar and I were just friends via text, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to convince him that I wanted to be just friends.
Aaliyah James:It looked real friendly the Sunday morning after my party…
Jazmyn Payne:It’s way too early for you two to be double teaming me!
Aaliyah James:Then just admit that you and this apparently famous man are more than friends. And why didn’t you tell us you were dating a celebrity?
Jazmyn Payne:I definitely told you both on your birthday that he was a football player.
Aaliyah James:He was so cool and laid back. I didn’t think he was in the league. I thought you meant he was a football player as in he played football for fun, or he played back in college.
Nina Ford:He looks like a football player. That’s what I thought you meant. I thought you were describing those broad ass shoulders. But you meant his job is professional athlete?
Jazmyn Payne:Yes, he plays for the Maryland Monarchs.
Aaliyah James:I’d never heard of him before, but you know I don’t know much about football.
Nina Ford:I know enough about football to know Jazz told that fine man to put her backfield in motion!
