With her non-eating hand, she scrolled through her phone, checking her work emails and what little social media she had. There were no texts from Nicholas, but that wasn’t entirely surprising after she’d refused to play into his weird little sex games.
There was a message from her mother, though. Another one.
Don’t think I’ve forgotten you hanging up on me at the office. Do you really think that you can just abandon your own mother like this whenever it suits you? What gives you the right?
She must have been getting desperate. Her mother had never been this interested in her before. Not even when she was a child. There was an entire column of missed calls, some with messages attached. Jay wouldn’t let herself listen to them, knowing that whatever they said would hurt.
(You’re too clingy, Jay. Nobody is going to want you around if you pester them all the time)
Jay had put out some boxes from her last move inanticipation of the packing but seeing them all surrounding her felt suffocating. The air itself seemed to drain from the room. When she breathed in, she imagined she could smell her mother’s Bath and Body Works body spray and the stale cigarette smoke that came from the strip club.
I need to get out of here.
She picked up her now-cold coffee, which somehow managed to taste even worse than it smelled, and settled into her chair with her phone. The packing could wait, she decided. It wasn’t like she could do much anyway, not while she was like this.
Her hands were shaking so badly that she could barely manage to bring up her contacts list.
Who are you going to call, Jay? You don’t have any friends.
(You care too much. And now you’re alone.)
Then her eye landed on Lily’s name.
Hey, she wrote, before she could second-guess herself.I’m in SF. Want to meet up?
Probably nothing would come of it, but at least she could walk to the corner store or—
Her phone buzzed almost as soon as she had set it down.
Oh my GOD, can this be JAY? JAY VARENS? Because I’m pretty sure Jay is dead. Otherwise she would have TEXTED ME instead of turning into a literal ghost.
That stung. She heard Nicholas’s whisper:Have you texted her recently? Or have you already started freezing her out, the way you always do?
(a slave to your ghost)
Shaking her head, Jay wrote:It’s really me, Lily. I’m so sorry, I’ve just been busy.
Quick—tell me something only SHE would know so I know you’re not a pod person.
You got in trouble with security for writing Mrs. Jungkook on your work badge in sharpie on April Fools’ Day last year.
Pffffft. Anyone could know that.
You’re allergic to cats and bees, and your favorite K-drama is Coffee Prince.
OH HI JAY. SO NICE TO SEE YOU. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? <3
Jay scrunched a few locks of hair, wincing at how dry they felt. That’s what she got for neglecting her hair care routine.I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner. It’s the new job. I’m still kind of settling in. They’ve been working me hard.
A turn of phrase she regretted almost instantly as the image of Nicholas bending her back over the kitchen counter while going down on her like he had something to prove popped into her head.
(Quid pro quo, little bird)
Oh, RIGHT, Lily wrote, continuing to abuse her screaming caps-key.How’s the new gig with Mr. TDaStSooY? Has he fallen in love with his favorite new secretary yet?
Jay choked.
It’s good, she wrote, after a shaken pause.I’m just using some PTO to tie up some loose ends.
