He chuckles as we reach the crew room, and I peer inside, spotting Mercs sitting in a chair with his back to me, phonepressed to his ear. His posture is rigid, and the room is eerily quiet except for his low voice, which immediately triggers a ripple of anxiety through me.
Something’s wrong.
I take a step forward, but I don’t want to interrupt. There’s a heaviness hanging in the air, and I suddenly wish I hadn’t walked in here.
Then I hear it.
“Lilah, I don’t know what to say to that.”
Lilah?That name hits me like a punch to the ribs.
I freeze, breath caught in my throat.
My eyes sting as a cold rush floods through my chest.
His ex? Why is he talking to her?
“I know you’re sorry. I get that, I do,” he says. “You know you meant everything to me, Lilah. We were childhood sweethearts, and that’s a big deal. Love was never an issue with us.”
I stumble, grabbing onto Raoul for balance. His hand steadies me as my knees start to weaken.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I can’t deny my feelings. Love isn’t the issue. It has to work this time.”
Each word slices through me.
Crushing.
Brutal.
My stomach knots and twists, and the floor beneath me feels like it’s giving way. A sharp gasp escapes before I can stop it, and I turn, bolting out the door with Raoul immediately behind me.
I don’t know where I’m going.
My boots slam against the floor with every frantic step, the sound echoing through the hall. My fists clench, nails digging into my palms as if that pain will ground me somehow. My heart’s racing so fast I can’t breathe. I can’t think.
It’s like my whole chest is caving in.
My eyes blur as tears well up despite my blinking furiously.
I don’t want to cry.
I am strong.
I am independent.
I don’t need him…
Except I do.
Fucking hell, I do.
I need him like oxygen, like melody, like the spotlight itself. A sob slips out as I hunch over, holding my stomach. “It hurts,” I whisper, trembling.
Raoul rushes to my side, his arm circling me. “I know. I’m sorry, Effa. I thought he was one of the good ones,mon petit oiseau.”
I can’t speak. I just nod as he guides me gently down the hall and over to the side of the stage. The venue’s mostly cleared out now, the hum of the crowd long gone, and only a handful of crew linger.
We sit.
