Thinking of Felix made her stomach tighten, as if in anticipation of pain. She’d be happy never to lay eyes on him again, but after the conversation with Marcus yesterday, she knew she had to see him at least once more. She needed to discuss the matter of the journey face to face. That was theonly way she’d know for sure if Felix could still be trusted with Marcus.
But for the moment, she allowed herself to think of pleasanter matters. “Have you set a date for the wedding yet?”
“We have!” Dihya’s hand gave an excited bounce where it rested on Lucretia’s arm. “Two months from now, the tenth of October. I don’t mind waiting. It will give me time to weave my bridal garments, and we need to find somewhere new to live. Both of our apartments are too small for three people. Caeso wants to buy a house. He’s been saving money!”
Lucretia smiled at the elation in her friend’s voice. “That’s wonderful.”
“I met his mother for the first time the other day.” Dihya’s mouth twisted in distaste. “Horrid woman. She looked down her nose at me the entire time. You should have seen the look on her face when I spoke a word or two in Berber to Tadla in front of her.” Dihya gave an irritated shudder. “If anyone needs poisoning, it’s her.”
Lucretia snorted. “I’ll make sure to keep her occupied at the wedding so you don’t have to speak to her.”
“You have my blessing to lock her in a closet,” Dihya pronounced.
They’d reached the street where their paths parted, so Lucretia bid Dihya goodbye with a kiss on the cheek. Beneath her happiness for Dihya, a trace of melancholy lingered. Dihya had found a new love, someone who treasured her. Whereas Lucretia had only managed to get her heart broken by a man she never should have become entangled with.
And now she had to see that man once again, which was the last thing she wanted to do.
Lucretia went home, dropped off the weighty basket of baked goods, then continued reluctantly to Felix’s house. Better to get this encounter over with.
A few moments after she knocked on Felix’s door, a servant pulled it open, recognized her, and offered to show her in, but she refused. “I would like to meet with Lucius Avitus Felix outside.” His house held far too many memories that would only cloud her judgment.
The young man nodded and withdrew.
When the door opened next, Felix was there. It had only been two days since they last parted, but the sight of him still sent a pang through her. His nose and left eye were mottled with purple-yellow bruises, and Lucretia suppressed a wince.
He surveyed her with his old aloofness, his gray eyes remaining dispassionate and chilled. No warmth sparked in his gaze, and his expression was as blank and implacable as a concrete wall. “You refuse to step foot in my house?”
She met his coolness with as much tranquility as she could muster. “It’s a pleasant evening. I thought it better to take a walk.” At least, if they were walking, she wouldn’t have to look directly at him.
“Very well.” He left the house, closing the door behind him. “What do you want?”
Her shoulders tensed at his rudeness as they began to walk. He was the one who had transgressed—he had some gall to address her so brusquely. “You must know Marcus still wishes to go to Cyrene with you.”
“I assume you have forbidden it?” His voice was clipped, as if every syllable cost him something.
She shot him a sidelong glance as they turned a corner. They had set no destination, but by some unspoken agreement they seemed to be heading in the direction of the harbor. “Not yet. I don’t wish Marcus to suffer because of our…disagreement.”Because you betrayed me, and broke my heart.
“You are…a good mother,” he said in a begrudging tone.
She ruthlessly quashed the warmth that rose within her at the compliment. Felix’s opinions on her parenting meant nothing to her. “I need to know, first, if you even want him to accompany you. Or to continue his apprenticeship at all. If you don’t wish to have anything more to do with him, tell me honestly, and I’ll put a stop to it.”Even if Marcus hates me for it.
Felix was silent for a moment as they navigated a cluster of people queuing at a food stall. The scent of spiced meat wafted through the air, tickling her nostrils.
“He’s making good progress,” he finally said. “It would be a waste to stop now.”
“I can tell he’s making progress in boxing, if nothing else,” she said with a tiny smile he wouldn’t be able to see. “I did reprimand him for hitting you.”Though you may have deserved it.
“He apologized.”
His curt, icy tone irritated her. It made her feel driven to charm and smile, to soften and placate him, though he deserved none of her warmth or smiles. He should be groveling on his knees for what he’d done. But he seemed to feel no remorse.
They reached the harbor, where merchants and sailors hurried to finish the day’s work before dark, and walked out along one of the long jetties that extended into the water.
At the end of it, Lucretia turned to face Felix. “Can I still trust you to take care of him?” Her eyes searched his face, seeking any scrap of benevolence. She leaned back against the flimsy wooden rail behind her, which served as an insubstantial barrier between the wooden dock and the water beneath.
“You can,” he said. “I’ll swear an oath to any god you choose not to let any harm come to him.”
She considered for a moment, leaning her weight more fully against the rickety wood behind her.
