His face dropped. “But…why?”
Felix’s insides twisted. Marcus had been so excited about this trip, and it pained him to take it away. “I have a feeling your mother will no longer want you to come.”
“But she said I could,” Marcus insisted. “She agreed to it. Remember?”
“Yes, but that was before…all of this. I believe her rejection of my proposal served to implicitly withdraw her consent.”
Marcus absorbed this with a long, considering look. “Doyoustill want me to come?”
Felix knew he should refuse, so at least then Lucretia wouldn’t be the sole villain in this scenario. But he couldn’t bring himself to distress Marcus, to break the trust that had been growing between them. Besides, Felix also had been looking forward to the trip. There were so many things he could teach Marcus, so many opportunities to broaden his knowledge.
“I do want you to come,” he finally admitted. “But you need to discuss it once more with your mother.”
“Fine.” Marcus let out a resigned sigh. “I’ll do that.”
“Good.” Felix knew that, if given the opportunity, Lucretia would firmly forbid Marcus from ever seeing Felix again, much less going on a long journey together. So this would likely be their last time together. Another pang of regret hit him. His actions had deprived him not just of Lucretia, but of Marcus as well.
Chapter 30
“You want to what?” Lucretia demanded as Marcus faced her in their garden. Her loom sat between them, linen fabric stretched across its warp threads. She was taking a break from work to weave some cloth, as Marcus would need new tunics soon with the way he was growing.
Marcus set his jaw in a familiar stubborn expression. “I want to go to Cyrene with Felix. You already said I could.”
“That wasbefore.” Until now, she hadn’t even realized she should have forbid Marcus from seeing Felix again. She had assumed Marcus wouldn’t even have wanted to continue his apprenticeship, but he must have a more forgiving nature than she realized—especially as he knew only a fraction of the truth.
“All he did was propose. He’s done it before, hasn’t he? Why does anything have to change?” He threw up his hands.
Her heart clenched at the gesture of frustration. That was exactly what Cornelius used to do whenever he was fed up with something, whether it was a delayed shipment, an uncooperative supplier, or an invitation to a dinner party he didn’t want to attend.
“If Father was here,” Marcus continued, “I wouldn’t have to go with Felix in the first place. He would have taken me.”
A hard ball of sorrow settled in the pit of her stomach. Finally, she started to understand that this might be about more than just the prospect of an exciting journey. If she forbade Marcus from going on this trip, or indeed from continuing his apprenticeship with Felix, she would force him to lose another relationship, just like he’d lost his father. Of course, his relationship with Felix was nothing like that of a father, but it was still a relationship. They seemed to have become something close to friends.
She had to admit that he’d been thriving under Felix’s influence. He wasn’t stealing money or getting into fights—perhaps now because the other boys knew he could fight back. He was learning the business he would eventually inherit from her. And there had been moments of warmth between them that she’d been missing since he was a child. He’d been adrift since his father died, and something about Felix seemed finally to have settled him.
She focused on finishing her current row of weaving. The problem was, she no longer trusted Felix, and thus couldn’t bring herself to let Marcus go off with him for weeks in a strange land.
Then again, trusting Felix with her heart was an altogether different matter than trusting him with her son’s safety. Perhaps, no matter what had happened between them, Felix could still be a careful steward with Marcus’s wellbeing.
Her original reasons for agreeing to the trip came back to her. It would be an invaluable learning opportunity for Marcus, and it could only benefit him to increase his experience of the world. She couldn’t deny him that just because of her falling out with Felix.
She chewed her lip as she untangled a small knot in her yarn, considering.
Marcus gave an impatient huff. “Well?”
She summoned a stern look. “Leave it with me for a day. I will let you know what I decide.”
The next day, Lucretia looped her arm through Dihya’s as they walked away from their office. Their homes were in the same direction for several blocks before their paths would diverge. Twilight had fallen, but the sun’s warmth hadn’t yet abandoned the air.
Lucretia’s other arm supported a basket piled high with delicacies from Caeso. He knew the broad strokes of her rift with Felix, and he’d insisted on plying her with his finest wares, assuring her that good bread and pastries could heal any wound.
“Caeso was much too kind,” she said as she adjusted the weight of the basket.
Dihya shot her a sympathetic glance as they rounded a corner. “He only wants to help. And I fear the only way he knows how to help is by stuffing you with baked goods.” Dihya raised her eyebrows. “Unless you want me to have him poison Felix? That option is still on the table, you know. I really think Caeso would do it this time.”
Lucretia chuckled. “Thank you, but no. Felix doesn’t deserve that.”
“I disagree,” Dihya muttered darkly.
