“I-I wasn’t thinking that far ahead—” he stammered.
“Liar,” she snarled. “You do nothing if it doesn’t benefit you. I bet even with Marcus, you thought giving him boxing lessons would reveal something you could use against me.”
“No!” he protested.
She ignored him. “I know you will hold this secret over my head for the rest of our lives, whether I am married to you or not. So let me maintain what little independence I have managed to scrape together.”
His jaw worked, as if he was trying to summon more words.
She didn’t let him. “We have nothing more to say to each other.Ever.”
His shoulders slumped, and he turned and left the dining room. Dimly, she heard the front door open and close as he let himself out.
The sound sent a pang of loss through her, turning her rage to a deep melancholy. She lowered herself to sit on the nearest couch. Felix’s betrayal seemed to have sapped all her energy.
She should have known better than to think she and Felix could be anything more than rivals. He couldn’t stop himself from trying to win, at any cost. He might believe he loved her; their couplings had grievously muddied the waters there. But a man who loved her wouldn’t scheme against her, wouldn’t use her most carefully kept secret to try to manipulate her into marriage.
Felix loved no one but himself, and she would not allow herself to forget it again.
Chapter 29
Felix traversed the streets in a fog. The ache in his nose was nothing compared to the searing pain in his chest.
How had that gone so terribly wrong?
Lucretia hadn’tlistenedto him, that was how. She hadn’t heard how much he loved her, how he wanted them to be together forever.
No—she had heard him. She had just heard all the things he didn’t want her to.
She heard how he’d schemed against her. How he’d disregarded the terms of their truce. How he’d bragged aboutnotdoing something reprehensible.
He could explain it away as just business, but he would be lying to himself. It hadn’t been just business with Lucretia for a long time, despite both of their best efforts to pretend otherwise.
And now he’d ruined everything.
Instead of going home, he walked to the harbor. He stood on one of the piers, feeling the sea breeze whip at his bloodied clothing. A spray of salty water from a wave hitting the side of the pier stung his eyes.
Further out in the harbor, large ships—several of them his—sat at anchor in the deeper water. Little boats ferried goods and people to and from the ships. Smaller vessels were docked at the various piers dotting the edge of the harbor, each with a hive of activity surrounding it as goods were loaded, unloaded, inspected, and haggled over before being transported down the Tiber toward Rome.
Thiswas what he’d worked for—this relentless cycle of buying and selling, profit and risk. He’d been willing to sacrifice so much for a chance at a bit more money in his coffers. He had betrayed Lucretia, the woman he loved, out of nothing but greed and the desire to win.
Now, he would have gladly given up all his ships if he could take back what he’d done.
But there was no way to undo something so heinous. His greed had ruined everything between them.
Maybe she was right: how could he be certain that one day, sooner or later, he wouldn’t have tried to persuade her to transfer all of her assets to his control? That hadn’t been his motivation to marry her, but he knew himself well enough to know it wouldn’t have been long before the idea occurred to him. He might not have been able to resist the prospect of getting everything he wanted: Lucretia as his wifeandcontrol over her ships.
That was why he’d stammered and hesitated at her accusation. He hadn’t been able to summon an instant, convincing denial because as soon as she’d raised it, he knew it sounded exactly like something he would do.
Lucretia deserved better than him. She deserved a man who would support her, not scheme against her. If he truly loved her, then he had to recognize he wasn’t right for her. This was one scenario where there was no way to win, nothing he could planor scheme or negotiate to get what he wanted. For the first time, he’d lost.
After Felix left, Lucretia took a moment to gather herself. She could feel the heavy pressure of tears building in her nose and behind her eyes, but she staved them off. Felix didn’t deserve her tears.
She intended to go speak to Marcus, but he beat her to it. His head poked around the doorframe of the dining room. “He left?” Marcus asked.
Lucretia wiped a hand hastily over her eyes. “Yes.”
Marcus entered the room with hesitant steps. “I heard yelling.”
