His eyes tracked her movements, and a greedy grin lifted the corners of his mouth. “There’s only so much one can accomplish with independent study.” He reached out to grab her dress, yanking it up to her hips.
She giggled and parted her legs, allowing her head to fall back as he lowered his mouth between her thighs.
Felix’s fists thumped against the sand-filled leather bag swinging in front of him. Marcus was due to meet him here shortly, but for now, Felix was alone, which gave his mind plenty of freedom to wander.
Ever since Felix returned from his trip to his family, the question of marrying Lucretia loomed large in his mind. The more he thought about it, the more he was sure he wanted her as his wife. He wanted all of her—from her intelligence and her business expertise to her carnal knowledge and tempting curves.
He had always known he would marry eventually, but whenever he pictured his future wife, it was a vague, blurry image of a quiet, dutiful woman who would manage his household and raise his children. Someone conventional, unchallenging, easy to like, if not love. He had never dared to imagine a woman like Lucretia.
There was Marcus to consider too. Felix had grown fonder of the boy than he ever expected when Marcus first wheedled him into giving boxing lessons. He could easily imagine adopting Marcus as his heir, if Lucretia didn’t wish to have more children or if the gods didn’t bless them with a son.
But no matter Felix’s feelings, he was still uncertain of Lucretia’s desires. Would she even entertain a proposal from him? What if she refused him for the second time?
Her rejection of his first proposal had been merely a snag in his old plans to overtake her business operations. But if she refused him again, when he truly wanted to marry her forher, not just her ships, it would crush him.
The thought of it now, of her possible rejection, was enough to make his stomach churn.
He stepped back from the bag, breathing hard, and passed a linen-wrapped hand over his face to wipe the sweat from his brow.
He wasn’t brave enough to face the risk of Lucretia turning him down. What if she felt nothing for him? She clearly enjoyed their sexual exploration, but what if that was as far as it went for her?
He could have sworn he detected something deeper upon his return. She had seemed genuinely happy to see him, and she’d agreed to trust him with Marcus’s safety on their upcoming voyage. That had to mean something. But what if it wasn’t enough?
In this situation, too much boldness could ruin everything. A circumspect approach would be more prudent. So he would wait, try to suss out if she harbored any deeper feelings toward him. Once he was sure, once he wascertain, he could attempt another proposal.
If she did reject him, it would fully cement his bachelorhood. He would find someone to adopt as his heir in the coming decades; perhaps Herminia would have a son. But if Lucretia didn’t want to be his wife, he had no interest in anyone else.
Chapter 27
“Ihave a question for you,” Lucretia said as she joined Felix for another dinner. They’d eaten first this time and spent the whole dinner talking. Felix had explained the route he and Marcus would take on their journey to Cyrene, coming up in three weeks, which led into a discussion of which wares were better acquired in Cyrene versus Alexandria.
But now, as their plates emptied, her mind turned to a different subject.
“Oh?” Felix said, tipping back his cup to drink the last of his wine.
“You have been excelling in your lessons,” she began with a smile.
He shot her an intolerably smug grin. “I have, haven’t I?”
She rolled her eyes. He was getting almost too good at pleasuring her, and he knew it. But this next thing she wanted to broach would no doubt require more instruction.
“I wondered if you might…that is, I’m not sure if…we haven’t yet tried…” She flushed as the words tangled themselves in her mind. Why was she getting so flustered? She was theexperienced one. She should not be rendered stammering and hesitant by the simple mention of…
He raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”
She took a deep breath and forced the words out. “If you wish to, er, attempt copulation, I think we could try that.”
His pupils dilated, darkening his eyes to charcoal. “Are you sure?”
“I’m not the virgin here,” she rejoined shortly. “It’s nothing to me, so of course I’m sure.”
It’s nothing to me. That was a lie. Doing this with Felix would be much more meaningful than she let on. After all, Cornelius was the only man she had ever lain with, and that was a matter of protocol. It was right and proper for a husband and wife to lie together, to share the marital bed and conceive children.
But if she were to lie with Felix, that would have nothing to do with propriety. It would be entirely about want, about desire. It would be something selfish, something for her alone.
“In that case,” Felix said, “I would be pleased toattempt copulationwith you, Lucretia.” A small smile played around his lips. “Though I hope I’m suitably experienced now that the stipulation of ‘attempt’ is not necessary.”
“It’s a different skillset,” she warned him. “And for this, we may be better served in a bed. We’ve defiled these couches enough, I think.”
