“Why?” I shouted, pissed and bitter, fighting to keep my Charley-made-it high. In the distance, I heard Rives shout my name, but I was too wrapped in Nil hate to answer. I tilted my face to the Nil sky, choking Nil air in my fists. “WHY?” I screamed. “Tell me!”
The grizzly roared, the ground shook—and then I knew.Because this is Nil, and she’s cruel. And because she’s not done playing with me.
Then she whispered,RUN.
CHAPTER
64
CHARLEY
DAY 1, TIME UNKNOWN
My skin was stinging. No, burning. No,freezing.
I woke, shaking uncontrollably. From cold, from pain, from a horrible sense of loss. It was the only thing that came with me through the gate.
When I opened my eyes, a crowd of guys in parkas and goggles were bent over me; they wore helmets on their heads and confusion on their faces. And in some cruel twist of fate, the land around me was brilliant, arctic white. Stark naked, I lay cushioned on fine powder that burned like fire.
I lay on Thad’s snow.
Thad!Every cell in my body cried for him, but there was no answer, just fading echoes.I’ll find you, Charley! I promise!
But you can’t, my heart cried.Because I took your gate, your chance to escape. And now you’re stuck, condemned to Nil forever.
The men spoke quickly, murmuring in a foreign language I made no effort to understand. I didn’t care what happened to me. I was fractured, shattered and incomplete. And there was no way to put me back together, because the part of me that belonged to Thad was gone, brutally ripped away as I passed through the gate.
I closed my eyes, willing the men to walk away.Leave, I cried silently. Leave me here, on Thad’s snow. He should be here, not me.
Just … leave.
But they didn’t.
Hands lifted me, and gently slid my arms into soft sleeves full of warmth. I heard a zipping noise, and warmth spread across my chest. Damp socks slid over my feet, followed by pants that moved up my legs. The hands handled me like I might break.
They didn’t know I already had.
CHAPTER
65
CHARLEY
DAY 4, MID-MORNING
Here turned out to be France. Mont Blanc, specifically. I was found in an out-of-bounds area by a group of expert skiers who had “accidentally” veered off course into virgin powder.
Everyone kept telling me I was lucky to be alive.
Wrong, I’d think. If I were lucky, Thad would be here, not me. If I were lucky, I’d be on Nil, with a fighting chance of catching a gate and seeing Thad again. If I were lucky, I’d have been left for dead. That would have been kinder.
But instead I’d been admitted to a French hospital.
So far I’d spoken three words: American. Charley Crowder. The rest of the time I either shook my head or nodded, when I acknowledged the doctors at all. I kept my eyes closed, alternately clinging to my mental pictures or hiding from them. They were all I had.
When Mom, Dad, and Em rushed into the room, they looked as foreign as the nurses. The minute they saw me, their words gushed like tears.
My mom. “Charley! Oh my land, it’s really you! You poor baby, I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.”No, you can’t.
