“I’ll tell the zebra you said hi,” I whispered into his shoulder. Then I pulled away, still holding his hands. “And I’ll look out for Burton. Go.”
The gate floated three feet away.
“Charley.” Thad’s voice cracked. He swallowed and shook his head.
“It’s okay,” I said. “I’ve got time. I’ll find you. I love you, Thaddeus Blake. Now go.”
Emotion swirled so thick in his eyes that it spilled out the edges.
“Go,” I whispered, feeling renewed urgency. The gate hovered footsteps away, so close we were reflected as one. “It’s your time. See you on the other side.” My chest tightened with the coming loss, but the ache felt good. “I love you.” Then I smiled, because this was it.
This was our good-bye.
The leading edge of the gate threw rainbows of color onto Thad’s face; his eyes had never looked more brilliantly blue. “I love you, too.” His voice was choked. “More than anything.”
And then Thad did the unthinkable.
He lurched forward, grabbed my upper arms, and threw me backward into the gate. I twisted as I fell, trying to catch my balance and get out, already feeling the blistering heat.
“No!” The scream tore from my throat, but I choked on the heat. Boiling air wrapped around me like invisible sludge, pulling me deeper and trapping me inside.
I was burning, in hellfire.
Darkness licked the corners of my eyes. Nil flickered and blurred, then began to shrink, like I was peering through the wrong end of a kaleidoscope. My last clear vision was Thad, contorting as he spun to the side, his eyes locked on me.
“I’ll find you, Charley!” he shouted, his voice cracking and fading. “I promise! I—”
Darkness closed in like the lid of a coffin; the blackness turned absolute. The heat vanished, and the blackness became ice, forcing its way into my soul and tearing it apart.
Then there was nothing.
No light. No air.
No Thad.
CHAPTER
63
THAD
DAY 365, NOON
Charley was gone.
I’d lost her, and yet I’d won.
“I beat you!” I screamed at Nil. Stoke shot through me like I’d posted a perfect run. Only it was Charley who’d swept the heat; it was Charley who’d caught the gate. It was Charley who’d live—and that was the rush. I’d embraced my destiny: I’d protected Charley to the end, made the ultimate bodyguard move. I’d rolled the dice, and I’d won.
Me, not Nil.
Laughing, I punched the Nil sky. My laughter echoed over the endless black rock, Nil laughing back at me.
That’s when it hit me.I should be dead.
I’d never been with anyone on their last day. I’d assumed that a gate came and went—or didn’t come at all—and then you just keeled over. Checked out. Done.
But I was still standing. And feeling sick, I suddenly knew how it would all shake out: I’d have to wait for midnight, suffering without Charley. I’d have to weather the twilight of my dying day alone, every minute a biting reminder of what I’d lost—and could never have.
