I have one noon.
One shot.
One last roll of the dice.
It was the ultimate Nil game. For 365 days, we took our chances, racing toward noon, standing in open Nil air, hoping for lightning to strike. Some were lucky, like Natalie and Kevin. Others rolled the dice over and over, but never won, like Ramia and Li. And some, like Rory, barely got to play.
And then there was today. The inbound had dropped a bear bomb, screwing up my roll and changing the game. Changing the moment and ruining my chance.
Maybe my last chance.
Definitely my best chance.
Our fates were left to chance, but it was Nil who ran the tables. Even with Charley’s charts, the deck was stacked in Nil’s favor. It was her show, her rules. One gate. One person. One noon. One year.
And like I’d known since Day One, her rules sucked.
But for the first time, I finally understood them. Today’s message was loud and clear.
I held Charley against me, knowing that tomorrow I’d go all in. I’d step up, and with everything I had on the table, I’d roll the noon dice one last time. And this time, I’d be ready. Ready to run, ready to die. Whatever hand Nil dealt, I was braced to face it on my terms. All I hoped for now was the chance to win.
Focus the breath, focus the mind.This time—for the first time—my coach’s new-age breathing tip worked. My mind was clear.
Because this time I focused on Charley’s breathing, not mine.
Breathe.
CHAPTER
62
CHARLEY
DAY 99, MORNING
I opened my eyes and squinted. Light streaked above the treetops. Thad was propped on his side, looking at me.
“Morning, sleepy.” He smiled.
“I can’t believe I slept.” I was so mad at myself I scowled.
“Running from a grizzly will do that to you.” His grin widened.
“But I lost time with you! Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“Because I like watching you sleep. You’re so beautiful, Charley.” Thad’s voice was ragged. His eyes traveled my face, eyes heavy with exhaustion, with sadness, and with defeat. And it scared me. He hadn’t slept. Not enough, maybe not at all.
“You didn’t sleep,” I said. “You needed to sleep.” I bit my lip, refusing to cry.
Thad just smiled. With one finger, he traced my eyebrows, my cheekbones, my jaw. I closed my eyes, feeling his finger drift to my collarbone. It was the sweetest caress, and yet it hurt, touching an ache so deep I thought I might break.
His finger drifted lower, making me shiver.
“Where’s Rives?” I asked, remembering we weren’t alone.
“Giving us some space.”
Their secret conversation from yesterday roared back. I bit my lip again, harder this time.
