“That’s not cool,” Mitch fussed, gesturing toward his lily-white outfit. “Jake, Keith, and Quinn shouldn’t get off scot-free. It should be all or none.”
“Exactly,” Kyle complained, all decked out in his finest snowy duds. “The hypocrisy sucks.”
My brother-in-law Finn didn’t seem to want to get involved, but relented when all eyes fell on him. “Obviously, I side with Mitch and Kyle. The others should be punished for their insubordination. These ten-year-old party pants are so tight they’re cutting off my circulation. I can barely breathe.”
“You make a good point, Finn. Listen up, boys. I want you all to take a really good look at Finn’s junk. It’s so crammed in there that at any minute his plums could blast through those seams like a busted can of biscuits. That, my friends, is loyalty. Did he have to load those pants like gunpowder into a musket? No, he didn’t. Finn is the only one of you boys who didn’t come out of my nutsack and look at him. He looks absolutely ridiculous... all because he loves me.”
Finn accepted the backhanded compliment with his characteristic aplomb. “Scott, I’m not sure if I say this often enough, but you always make Mother’s Day a special one.”
“I say the team players should get some sort of reward,” Kyle suggested.
“Your reward is knowing that you are loved more than your brothers.”
“That’s it?” He bristled.
Jake nodded. “I can live with that.”
“Me too,” I added.
“I just forgot.” Keith shrugged. “I don’t know why I need to be punished.”
“Wait? So, there are no pictures?” Mitch asked. “This was just a test?”
“That’s correct. You passed. Well done, Mitch.”
“Asshole,” my brother grumbled.
“Oh, and as an added benefit to my now-favorite sons, I will also be cutting Jake, Quinn, and Keith out of their inheritance.”
Keith gasped. “But your ‘postal worker’ fashion collection is our legacy. I was counting on the proceeds from the auction to buy a candy bar.”
“Welp, I really can’t help you, Keith. You should’ve thought about that before being a dumbass.”
Casey entered the room. “Thought about what?”
“Oh, I’ve just been cut out of Dad’s will,” Jake replied.
She shook her head. “My god, Jake, I leave you alone for five minutes and now I’m never going to get the money to buy the box of Hot Pockets from the grocery store.”
“I’ll save up… just for you.”
“Thank you, babe,” she said, giving him a kiss.
“Is he sleeping?” Jake asked once she’d settled in beside him.
“Yes. Finally.”
I didn’t have to ask who they were talking about—Jake and Casey’s youngest son.
Jake saw me staring. “You arrived about three minutes after Slater melted down to the core.”
“Ah, yeah,” I said. “Slater.”
“Ah, yeah,” he mimicked, his lip drawing into a thin line. “Slater. Casey calls him high energy. I call him Chucky.”
I’d seen the little dude in action. He was no joke.
“Stop.” She elbowed him. “He didn’t get his morning nap. We won’t make that mistake again, will we, Jake?”
