Case in point – my side business. I could see now that I probably should have remained a gnat. But, no, I justhadto become their king. It had all started out innocently enough. Last year, after my former dealer was arrested, I’d had no choice but to make my way downtown to refresh my supply. And since I was already going out of my way to get a dime bag for myself, why not pick up some extra herbage for my homies, right? And then, if I was taking that additional step for my friends, it would just be rude not to pick up a little something extra for the cheerleaders and jocks. I was a giver that way.
Of course, the downtown dealers knew a sucker when they saw one, and before I knew it, a smarmy dude named St. Nick was promising me riches and filling bags of weed in a sack like some stinky Santa Claus.
No. No. NO, my brain screamed at the time.Run, Keith. Run.
And, of course, that would have been the correct response – the smart choice. But the rewards – oh god, the rewards. They sounded amazing. Money. Popularity. Truck loads of cannabis. What could go wrong?
* * *
“So are we all in agreement? Vacation starts tomorrow?” Valentine asked. “First stop, Universal Studios?”
Warning lights immediately flicked on, blinking and swirling in my brain. My thoroughly exhausted, and whiny, voice of reason desperately tried to talk me out of it.There is no reason for a vacation, Keith. Senior year only started today. Don’t be a dumbshit, Keith.
My buddies and I, we lived for these mini vacations. They were the highlight of every school year. But never had we tried one this early in the game. It was a ballsy move, for sure, but the risk was what made it extra fun. Plus I was still smarting from Mrs. Lee’s comments, so anything that got me out of her class for a couple of days was a good thing in my book.
“I’m in,” I impulsively blurted out. And just like that, another shitty decision was born. “But if I’m taking the Surfmobile, you guys better lay flat in the truck bed this time. I’m not getting another ticket because of you.”
“You hit a pot hole,” my fellow stoner Walt complained. “We weren’t sitting up, we were levitating.”
“Yeah, well. No levitating in my fucking truck. You know the rules.”
The others grumbled, but since I was the only one who owned a vehicle with the capacity to stack bodies on top of one another, they had no choice but to agree to my conditions.
“Hey, Kali, you want to hear the coolest story ever?” Screensaver asked. I glanced his direction, surprised by his participation. This was the guy who’d gotten his nickname because he literally did nothing all day, and that included talking. Screensaver typically rode out any discussion in a haze. He was what we called perma-fried, meaning he acted high even when there was no drug residue in his system. It was almost as if he had backup reserves of the stuff floating around in his lungs. But today – well, he was just extra giddy with excitement, which in turn sparked my curiosity.
“Sure. Hit me.”
“Last night I asked my dad if we could get a cat and he said no. I asked why and he said it was because Mom has allergies.”
Oh-kay. He lost me at cat. I turned in my seat, no longer interested in his shitty kitty story. I should have known better than to get my hopes up with this one.
Yet despite my completely ghosting him, Screensaver continued with his tale of tails. “So I said to him, ‘Once Mom dies,thencan we get a cat?’ And Dad said, ‘Sure, bud, just as soon as she dies.’ I mean, is that like the coolest thing ever? I’m getting a cat. Dude, I’m so stoked right now.”
Raising a brow, I glanced back over. Holy shit! He was for real. I burst into a fit of hysterics, which only served to confuse my dopey friend.
“You do realize,” I said through the laughter, “that you’ll have to sacrifice your mom to get that cat, right?”
Screensaver pressed his lips together, not appreciating me questioning his reasoning. “Are you not listening to me, Kali? I’ll havea cat. God, sometimes you are so stupid.”
I could have argued with him, but what was the point? He wouldn’t remember it in the morning. Hell, he wouldn’t remember it in three minutes. Pulling my hood up, I took to scanning the lunch tables for intelligent life forms. If Screensaver was any indication, I’d need to look well outside the perimeter of my immediate circle.
In a school of over two thousand students, there was a wide world to explore. Too bad I never did. An interesting phenomenon had occurred with the jump from middle to high school. The stereotypical groups remained, only now the popular cliques had joined forces, their masses occupying a third of the outdoor quad. Dubbed Utopia, entry was strict. Either you were in, by belonging to a certain group, or you were hand-picked based on your athletic ability, your good looks, or some other value deemed worthy by the powers that be. I was in, and so were my boys, because of what I brought to the table – literally. Every group needed their friendly, local pot guru. But because Utopia was like an ecosystem all its own, it was easy to forget that three quarters of the school population lingered on the outside looking in.
My eyes narrowed in on my lab partner at a table located well outside of the coveted zone. What was her name again? I searched my memory banks but came up with nothing. Granted, I’d been seriously baked when I’d made her acquaintance earlier in the day. And even though I couldn’t recall much of our conversation, the part where I sounded a lot like Screensaver came to mind.The platypus dream? Really?
She was sitting with her friend, the kinky-curly haired sneezer with the perpetually red nose. Now hers was a name I remembered. Everyone in the school knew who Shannon O’Malley was – the girl who had freakish allergies as well as the highest number of paramedic visits in the history of Pearl Beach High. She was the reason peanuts were banned from the lunch tables and epi pens were strategically placed throughout the campus. If ever there were a candidate for “The Girl In The Bubble” program, it would be poor, wheezy Shannon O’Malley.
My lab partner was deep in debate with her friend and hadn’t yet noticed me staring. I didn’t know what it was about her that caught my eye, but it probably had something to do with the way she was so engrossed in the conversation she was having. I wished I could say the same thing about the company I kept because the current discussion going on behind me would entice no one.
“Dude, I dare you to deep throat this pickle,” said Jordy, a.k.a Fire Crotch. He’d gotten his nickname from… well, I think you get the idea.
“You’re on,” Valentine agreed without hesitation. “Hand me that girthy fella.”
Those two were a powerful argument for abstinence. Distracted, I kept an eye on the girls who were still hunched over the table talking. What was so damn important? They acted like they’d just discovered the cure for cancer. Incidentally, such a medical breakthrough probably wouldn’t be all that farfetched for those two. Based solely on their unfashionable clothing, I guessed their IQ’s were at cancer-curing levels. There was no doubt in my mind that these two were going places – if Shannon didn’t contract a deadly virus first.
“What are you two talking about?” I whispered under my breath, surprised I even cared. Maybe I was just starving for something different. After all, eighty-four percent of the conversations I’d had with females today revolved around Starbucks. I hated that I knew the Frappuccino flavor of the month.
Movement on the dork front caught my attention, and I sat up a little straighter. Both girls came out of their huddle and, as if perfectly choreographed, turned their heads at the exact same moment. Suddenly two sets of eyes were staring directly at me. I almost diverted my own just from the shock of being caught, but then it occurred to me they’d been talking about me, so reallytheyshould be the embarrassed party. And, oh lordy, were they ever. Both immediately shifted their gaze, my lab partner even going so far as to shield her face from view with a carefully placed, unmanicured hand.
