“You and me both.” Mitch laughed. “When I was a kid, I won a goldfish at a carnival and put it out on the back porch because I thought, you know, it might like to get some fresh air. Let’s just say, the neighbor cat had a nice snack.”
I chuckled, sliding down onto the sofa with the perfectly fluffed pillows.
He took a seat in the chair opposite me. “So do you want to tell me why you’re here?”
Our eyes connected. “I think you know why.”
“No, Keith. We haven’t spoken in years, and then all of a sudden, you wake me from a dead sleep and want to talk about my girlfriend’s flowers.”
“The flowers were just a filler.”
“Yeah, I got that.” Mitch trapped me in his leading man stare. “Keith, straight up. What are you doing in my living room?”
“I’m here to apologize.”
He just gaped at me. You would have thought I’d told him I didn’t recycle my plastics. “Okay… for what?”
“For everything. Our whole lives. Every wrong I’ve ever done to you. I want you to know, Mitch, I’m so damn sorry. I really, truly am.”
I stopped talking then, allowing him to chew over my words. And chew he did. I was pretty sure he was playing over every slight I’d ever perpetrated against him, big and small. It took my brother a surprisingly long time before he had a response for me.
“Even the time you dipped my carrot sticks in Orajel and caused my lips to go numb?” he asked, attempting to suppress a smile.
“Yes, even then.” I laughed.
“Or the time you hardboiled all my eggs and put them back in the container?”
“Actually, I stand by that one. I ate deviled eggs for a week. They were delicious.”
We laughed together, easing the tension between us.
“You were such a shithead.”
“I know.” I caught his eye. “But I think we both know the real reason I’m apologizing.”
Mitch shifted in his chair and looked out the window. The pain on his face was clear to see. I’d hurt him more than maybe even I understood.
“That day at the hospital when I said you weren’t Jake’s real brother – that was such a shitty thing to say. It makes me sick that I was such a petty asshole.”
“Yeah, you were,” he said, leaning forward. “That stung like a bitch. Here’s the thing, Keith: I’ve always felt like an imposter in your life. Do you have any idea what it was like for me to walk into your perfect little family and try to make myself relevant? And you – ah, shit, Keith, you were the best at twisting the knife in my chest.”
“I know. I have no excuse. I was jealous, Mitch, pure and simple. You were perfect, and I was… not. I took out my insecurities on you. I can never take back all the horrible things I said, but I can try to make amends now. I’ll do anything for you to forgive me… I mean, as long as it doesn’t cost more than $84, because that’s all I have left in my wallet.”
His brow rose. “You’re kidding, I hope.”
I shook my head.
“What about in your savings account?”
“My what?” I flung my arms to the sides for affect.
“Credit cards?” He continued trying.
“Look at me, dude. Who’s going to give me a line of credit?”
“Jesus, Keith. You need to stop living like a teenager.”
“Don’t I know? Number one on my ‘to do’ list is to ‘Get Mitch to forgive me’ and number two is ‘Grow up.’”
