“But what if it’s on the right?”
* * *
With the exception of some of my mother’s dresses and jewelry and boxes of paperwork I’d sort through later, I gave Stewart the green light to donate the rest of her things to charity, hoping something good could come of her difficult life. When I arrived home later that day, exhausted from both the mental and physical toll it had taken on me, I noticed a manila envelope propped against my door. There was no postage. No writing.
A shiver ran through me. I don’t know how I knew, I just did. It was from Keith. Picking it up with shaky hands, I carried it in as if it were a newborn baby. But once I had it safely on my kitchen table, I couldn’t get myself to open it. Why I wasn’t sure, but I flitted around the house, completing chores, until finally I could avoid it no longer. Pouring myself a glass of wine, I sat down on the chair and carefully separated the sticky paper flap. I pulled out a framed photo and immediately brought it to my chest to give it a hug. Murphy. My baby. I missed him so much, and here he was now, that toothy grin of his brightening my day.
My smile reached wide as I gave a silent thank you to Keith. Even from afar, he was still looking out for me in his own way. I’d heard a rumor that he was dating again, and although I stayed away from the details, I was comforted by knowing he was doing okay – even if the nagging jealousy ate me up inside on occasion.
As I laid the envelope down, I noticed a swell at the bottom of the packaging, and when I reached my hand inside and pulled out a small item covered in tissue paper, I knew exactly what it was. With shaking fingers, I tore through the wrapping, squealing when the prize was revealed with a little note that read, “I thought you might need this.”
Elated, I raised my grandfather’s lucky stone to my lips and whispered, “Yes, I do.”
37
Samantha: The Imposter
Icould have waited to be escorted to my seat but, since two thirds of the ushers at Jake and Casey’s wedding had McKallister DNA coursing through their veins, the odds were low I’d make it to a pew without some awkward encounter. Best-case scenario I got a Caldwell brother. Worst case? I got my ex, the man whose heart I’d shoved into a trash compactor and selected ‘power pack’ just to be sure it was sufficiently crushed. No, it was best to find my own seat as far away from the action as possible.
At the ready, I stood just outside the door to the church, waiting for the coast to clear so I could make my 3-inch-heeled run for it. And I was about to make my move when Keith’s laugh traveled outside, wafting into my ears like a beautiful melody. A hopeful smile crossed my lips. Maybe I hadn’t totally squashed him. Or, more likely, another woman had brought that joy back into his life. I could almost feel the color draining from my face at just the thought of Keith in a happily ever after with a woman who was not me, and I had to actively remind my possessive mind that this was what I had wanted – what I’d asked him to do.
Someday you’ll think of this moment and thank me.
No, Sam. No, I won’t.
I shook off the memory, refocusing on the here and now. Keith’s voice drifted further away as he escorted another lucky lady down the aisle. I pictured him mesmerizing her with his witty charm and unparalleled good looks while she tittered all the way to her seat. He had a way with the ladies, all right. I mean he’d effectively turned me into a pile of goo for the rest of my life. And I bet he was as handsome as ever, too. Of course he would be. A person couldn’t just cease being attractive. He’d captivated me as a seventeen-year-old girl, and I was still hopelessly stuck on him all these years later. I wondered if I’d ever fully recover from Keith McKallister or if he would be like one of those chronic inflammations that flared up from time to time.
Maybe I shouldn’t have come. After the wedding invitation arrived by personal courier, I’d wavered back and forth for days. Don’t get me wrong, it was an honor to have been invited, and I wanted nothing more than to celebrate with Jake and Casey, but I couldn’t help but feel like an imposter; or worse, the ghost of girlfriends past.
Yes, I’d remained friendly with Casey in the aftermath of the breakup, but the rest of the McKallisters, with one exception, had rallied around their own as if the years I’d spent with them had been erased from their memory. I understood. They were family, albeit one I’d once considered myself a part of. But even though I was the cause of all the strife, I’d be lying if I said being blocked from their huddle hadn’t hurt. But then, what did I expect? They weren’t my family anymore, and the sooner I accepted it, the easier it would be.
With Keith a safe distance, I darted through the foyer and into the church before ducking behind the first bench and sliding into the second-to-last pew. The mother and daughter duo beside me wearing colorful hats seemed distracting enough that no one would bother looking past the peacock feathers to notice a callous heart-stomper like myself.
I was wrong.
I hadn’t even had time to wipe the sweat from my brow before Keith strolled down the aisle. It wasn’t my first experience with him in a tuxedo, but I can tell you, it was always a show-stopping experience. The measly collection of tissues I’d brought wouldn’t be enough to collect the drool pooling in the corners of my mouth. Unable to rip my eyes away, I peeked up at him from behind the feathery glamour lashes I’d applied earlier in the day, not at all expecting anything in return. But as if by some invisible force, Keith turned in my direction, and his eyes zeroed in on me. He seemed surprised at first. Then hurt. Then angry. And finally, his features softened, and I saw what I’d desperately been searching for – love.
My own emotions were on full display, the moment so raw and real that it felt as if my heart was skipping way too many beats. His face an open book of feels, Keith faltered in his stride. He seemed uncertain; conflicted. I had the feeling he wanted to come to me, but the voice in his head was telling him not to. The rational part of his brain won out, and Keith continued down the aisle, never to glance my way again.
* * *
As the ceremony got underway, it became immediately apparent that the Kleenex I’d shoved in my clutch wasn’t even going to be enough to cover the walk down the aisle, much less the heartfelt vows. Still, it had been worth the sacrifice of my soggy tissues. There was nothing more beautiful to witness than the union of two people meant to be.
Keith and I – we were meant to be.
Yeah, shut up there, Sam. You suck!
The reception was spent deflecting the attention of a man at the singles table. He was handsome and accomplished. Ask me how I knew this? Well, I’ll tell you. Because he felt the need to continually remind me how handsome and accomplished he was. He also spent the down time rattling off a list of his high-powered friends. As if I cared about superficial crap like prestige and titles. It only took one brain-zapping disease to set your priorities straight… or… well… at least to prioritize what was real and what was bullshit. Keith. The McKallisters. The Caldwells. Real. Flawed. Beautiful. Men with high-powered jobs and impressive friends, step aside.
I liked pirates who frosted cupcakes and surfer boys who made engagement rings out of seaweed. I suppose I was just simple like that.
“Sam?”
My head turned to the sound, knowing who I’d find before ever laying eyes on him. Quinn – Keith’s kid brother and my unofficial musical crush. I flung my arms around him and we hugged for the longest time. The first Christmas I’d spent with the McKallisters, I’d wandered into the wrong room and heard a then-twelve-year-old kid singing his heart out. From that point on I was hooked. I suppose maybe my devotion went further back than that - all the way back to the disheveled little boy on the porch – the one struggling to understand the world that was crumbling down around him. Yes, I’d loved him since then.
“Quinn, I missed you so much,” I said peppering his cheeks with kisses. “My favorite singer ever.”
He grinned. “You’ve always been biased.”
