11
Keith: The Shakedown
“I’m pushing twice what you did. You hear me, Kali? Jules thinks you were either lazy or rippin’ him off.”
I didn’t bother responding to Valentine, as he was just trying to goad me into a confrontation I could not afford to be in, at least not if I wanted to remain at this school.
“Did you hear me?” he asked; only this time he smacked me upside the head.
“I heard you,” I responded, carefully controlling the spite threatening to spew from my gut. “And can I be the first to congratulate you? I think you and Jules make a beautiful couple.”
“Fuck you,” Valentine replied, his features twisted in irritation.
Getting under my skin was priority number one for him these days, and it took everything in my power to keep my cool. His passive aggressive behavior had started almost immediately after he’d taken over my weed route, and since then it had only escalated. Although there were times, like now, where I wanted to pummel him to a bloody pulp, my hands were tied. Not only could I not afford a blow up at school, but also he had the backing of some unscrupulous dudes who’d been threatening to beat my ass simply for existing. Staying under the radar was a matter of survival.
Drunk on power, Valentine had made me his cocktail of choice. Like any bully, he figured that emasculating me in front of a crowd would raise him up, but the truth was, my very existence was a threat to his rule. Valentine and I ran our businesses in vastly different manners. For the most part, I’d kept my dealings light and pain-free – a joke here, a laugh there. No reason to make a drug transaction an unpleasant experience. A little money and dope would change hands, and then we’d all go back to our lives like nothing nefarious had happened.
Not so with Valentine. He went with the threat and intimidation approach, and had already alienated a large portion of my former cliental. In fact, many of them were begging me to come back, and that only further served to irritate the new king. If it weren’t for the loosely tethered ties I still had to the other guys in our group, I would probably already have been cast out of Utopia.
Sometimes I wished Valentine would just do it and get it over with. I existed in a state of limbo anyway – not really here or there, and since meeting Sam, I was slowly coming to the realization that life would be easier for me as an outcast. Hell, I already was one. My reputation had taken such a hit that I held no real status in the school anymore anyway. And the further I got away from the popularity trap, the harder it was to figure out why I’d needed it so much. Maybe it was time to make that final leap and just accept that I wasn’t special enough to occupy a seat at the cool kids’ table.
Pinpointing Sam across the quad, my gaze softened. She was like a beleaguered flower struggling to blossom in unyielding darkness. Her story today had shaken me, but it had also given me newfound respect for the girl who’d risen above the adversity with grace and kindness. Her strength dwarfed me – dwarfed every person in this school – and I’d already decided that I’d do whatever it took to help her through - starting with surfing and ending with… well, anything else she’d allow me to do.
I’d liked girls before Sam, but not like this. Sometimes I even forgot to eat I was so wrapped up in thoughts of her. That’s how I knew she was different. I had plenty of female friends. We met at parties. We got wild. We got it on. But I’d never cared about their lives. I’d never hung on their every word. And I sure as hell didn’t call them up to ask how their test went or frost them a damn cupcake on their birthday. That was reserved for Sam… the bookish tutor who’d unexpectedly wound herself around me.
Checking on her again, I saw Sam huddled over the table with her friend, much like she had been on the first day of school. I smiled, knowing exactly what they were talking about – me. Ah, damn, how I wanted to be over there immersed in their deeply dorky conversation. Even though I felt I knew her, Shannon and I had never met in person because I’d balked at walking over there and introducing myself. It was like I was still that uncertain 7thgrader making decisions based on my shaky self-worth. Maybe I’d been trying so hard to fit in that I’d missed the obvious. I was born to be an outsider, skirting the fringes, and the sooner I could respect myself for it, the better.
Sam looked up from her conversation and caught my eye. She smiled. My stomach tightened like a vice as shame gripped me. How could I speak of respect when I wasn’t willing to show it to the one person in this school who actually mattered to me? Sam deserved better. So why, then, was she over there and me here? Why was I not still holding her hand? Because I was a goddamn coward, that’s why. I was keeping us apart for no other reason than I was afraid of being judged and ridiculed by the people who claimed to be my friends. If they truly were, they’d be happy for me. They’d welcome her in with open arms.
But that wasn’t how my crowd rolled, and I’d allowed myself to be a slave to their rules because I didn’t trust in myself enough to stand up for what I believed in. And, as long as I wore my insecurities around my neck like a shock collar, I’d never be good enough, smart enough, or confident enough to ever truly belong. It was the story of my life… and it had to stop. All I was doing was delaying the inevitable because if there was one thing I was certain of, it was that Sam and I were going to be together.
Change was in the air, and it was up to me to make it happen. It’s not like I had much to lose anyway now that the number of skaters at Pearl Beach High had been drastically reduced after a drug-sniffing dog wiped out half our herd. You would have thought the cops were raiding a Mexican drug cartel’s warehouse the way my buddies were being lined up and marched off campus in handcuffs. That would have been me – should have been me. But I was one of the lucky ones, and that girl over there was the reason I was still here today.
Valentine had survived the purge only because he’d been on a weeklong suspension after being caught stealing a test from the teacher’s desk. Screensaver lived too, but only because he was convincing enough in his stupidity to get out of all charges. Sadly, Fire Crotch hadn’t been as lucky. As bad luck would have it, one-fourth of the Three Musketeers had been kicked out of school, never to return.
“Are you into that chick?” Valentine asked, his eyes trained in the direction I was looking. The smug smile on his face instantly irritated me. She was a joke to him.
“What if I am?” I challenged.
“Wait.” His brow rose as he darted his eyes between Sam and me. “I was just kidding. Are you being serious right now?”
I clenched my fists, scowling at my nemesis. “Very.”
“Dude.” He snorted out a laugh, nearly falling off the table in the process. “If you think that’s hot, you need to do more drugs. ”
I shot to my feet, lunging for Valentine. My only goal was to physically wipe that smirk off his face, but before I could get to him, Screensaver jumped between us, pushing me back.
“Don’t do it,” he warned. “It’s not worth it, Kali. You’ve come too far to risk it all.”
Blinking, I let Screensaver’s words of wisdom sink in. No way could I let the likes of Valentine ruin the good thing I had going on. Drawing a deep breath, I unfurled my fists and addressed my friend by his given name. “You’re right, James. He’s not worth it.”
James glanced nervously between the two of us. He’d been smart enough to keep in the neutral zone of this particular pissing match. “Well… that’s…uh… not really what I said.”
Now that he was secure enough in his safety, Valentine puffed out his chest before dispensing with more trash talk. “You’d better watch your back, Dickweed, that’s all I’m saying.”
“Yeah? Why wait? I’m right here.” I drew my arms to the sides in invitation. “Give me your best shot.”
He wouldn’t. The biggest talkers always had the least to show. For all his bravado, Brett was not a fighter. I’d watched him cry on the street from road burns after falling off his skateboard, and run into the bushes when trouble came calling. Trust me when I said he didn’t want a punch to the face any more than I wanted to deliver it.
