“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, for the first time realizing I was crying for something unrelated to him. “For real, Sam?”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. You’re rubbing the stone.”
I wanted desperately to trust him, but the people in my life had made it hard for me to take that leap of faith. My bottom lip trembled. “I’m struggling.”
That was all Keith needed to hear, and he leaned in close until we were nearly touching. If there had been any doubt that he cared about me, it was put to rest when I searched his eyes and saw pain in them – for me. “What can I do to help?”
I shrugged, unable to form a sentence without sobbing and alerting the students around us of my meltdown. My gaze shifted to my trembling fingers.
“Hey.” He nudged me. “Sam, look at me.”
I lifted my eyes.
“Ask me anything. I’ll do it.”
Only one person in Pearl Beach knew my history… and all the secrets that went with it. Even then, Shannon only gained access after touching her hand to my bruised shoulder and watching me wince. Yet here was Keith, a guy I’d known mere weeks, edging himself into my life with ease. But how much headway had I made in his? Then it occurred to me. Maybe the fact that he kept me from his friends, spoke more to his insecurities than to my deficiencies. Maybe Keith didn’t know who he was any more than I did.
“My brother died two years ago today.”
The background noise fell away, and for a moment it was just the two of us sharing a deeply personal moment.
“Ah, Sam,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have been joking around.”
“Then I’m glad I didn’t tell you before. Please never stop making me smile.”
He nodded, staring down at his wringing fingers. “How did he…?”
“Die?” I finished the question.
“Yeah.”
“You don’t want to know.”
“Oh.”
That was enough information to catch Keith up. Typically conversation ended there. Suicide was never a comfortable topic, but he surprised me by pushing deeper into my gloomy past. “How?”
How? Why did it matter how? He’d killed himself – end of story. But I knew better. The way people chose to live their lives mattered, and so did the way some chose to die. Sullivan had made a statement with his death, however misguided it might have been. He could have gone quietly, drifting into oblivion with a cocktail of pills alone in his dorm room, but instead he’d chosen to go public in the most terrifying and messy of ways. And the worst part of it all was, I understood his reasoning. Like me, Sully had spent his life in the shadows. In death, he wanted to be seen.
Through jagged breath, I told Keith the story, every sordid detail, and the more I unloaded on him, the easier it became to breathe. When I came to the end, Keith seemed the one who couldn’t catch his breath. We sat quietly, staring at the empty worksheets on the table.
“Hey,” he said, lowering his voice for my ears only. “What can I do to make this day easier on you?”
He already had made it easier just by being there for me. But Keith was searching for something tangible, something he could roll his sleeves up and fix. I had an idea, a thought that had been brewing in the shadows of my mind for some time now. It was something he’d once offered, but I’d been too afraid to take him up on it at the time. Now it seemed as if there was nothing left to lose.
“Actually, there is something you can do for me.”
His eyes lit up, and it struck me that my happiness meant something to him. It was the first time I realized that this beautiful, fun, kind boy might actually like me for something other than my tutorial skills. As crazy as it seemed, I thought… maybe… possibly Keith McKallister might be falling for me.
And as the first butterflies bore down on my belly, I bit back the elation and said, “I want you to teach me to surf.”
A rapid-fire succession of blinks spoke to his surprise, but to his credit, Keith recovered quickly and nodded as he smiled.Challenge accepted.And then Keith raised the stakes even higher when his long, strong fingers reached for mine under the protection of the table. I lifted my eyes shyly, meeting his. He smiled, but it wasn’t his normal happy-go-lucky grin. No, this one was soft and warm and glowing with affection. What had I done to deserve this? Whatever it was, I was beyond grateful. Keith had taken one of the saddest days of my life and made it bearable. I wouldn’t forget.
“I promise you won’t regret this,” he whispered, his lips dangerously close to my ear as if he didn’t care who was watching. And then, with his breath tickling my skin, Keith made me a final guarantee. “I’m about to change your life forever.”
Turning my hand over, Keith’s fingers braided seamlessly with mine, and I held his hand with a purpose I’d never felt before. His words, his protective hand gripping mine, and those unwavering promises all conspired to set my heart on a collision course with destiny. It was in that moment I knew: I would love this boy forever.
