She pointed up to the highest tube. “You want me toshowyou?”
“Yeah, that might be agoodidea.”
Mistake numberfive was inviting Lassen to come along.I realize that I already mentioned this mistake, but with the current situation we found ourselves in, I feel it’s worthrepeating.
Sydney scaled the rope walls like Spiderman. My journey up wasn’t as effortless. I wasn’t that old, but damn, I felt like I was, as kids as young as four whizzed passed me at lightning speed. How in the hell had Lassen gotten up here? Although he’d lost quite a few pounds as a result of a health scare last year, he was still abigman.
It didn’t take long to figure out where Lassen was. There was a human traffic jam twelve kids long. Most of them were turning around and squeezing by me to use another tunnel by the entrance. I crawled toward Lassen who was lying on his stomach at a bend in the tubes. Riley was sitting behind him patting him ontheback.
Sydney got to them first and impatiently demanded, “Move it,bigman.”
“Back off!” Lassen’s growl echoed through thetubes.
“Dude, are you stuck?” I asked, finally reaching myfriend.
“No. I’mclaustrophobic.”
“He was crying,” Rileyoffered.
“I wasn’t crying, I was panicking. There’s adifference.”
The situation was too funny not to laugh. So I did. Hysterically. Sydney and Rileyjoinedme.
“When you’re done, will you call the fire department, please?” Lassen panted. “They’re going to need the jaws of life to cut me outofhere.”
“You don’t need rescuing. I’ll help you,” I said, before addressing my niece. “Syd, I want you to take Riley back through the entrance and then wait with Vadim until Icomeout.”
“Not a chance. I don’t want to miss a secondofthis.”
“Sydney,” I scolded through barely controlled laughter, “if you do what I say, and you hold Riley’s hand, and you stand next to Vadim until I get Lassen out, I will buy you a buttload of tickets so you can get any toy in the prizebooth.”
Syd eyeballed me. “Anytoy?”
“That’sright.”
“I want the giant pastelslinky.”
“Done.”
I was pleasantly surprised by how easily Syd caved. Damn, bribery was a legit parenting tactic. I didn’t care how much that giant slinky was going to cost me; my niece’s cooperation would be worth everypenny.
“Okay, come on,Riley.”
“Hold his hand the whole time, Syd. That’sthedeal.”
“I know. I know. See you on the other side,RockStar.”
“How old are you again?” I laughed, and then turned my attention back to Lassen as the kids scooted back out and climbed down through the entrance. “Okay, I think our best bet is to have you move forward andnotback.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Perhaps you didn’t hear me. I can’t fucking move,” he spat, under his breath. “And I don’t appreciate you laughing at me. This is all your fault in the firstplace.”
“Hey, I just brought you here. You’re the chump who decided to take a tour through thetubes.”
“Foryou,Jake.”
“Me?”
“You handed Riley off to me, and then the little shit took off into the tubes. I had no choice but to followhimin.”
