The bridesmaids parted the sea of green, and at the end stood my bride, radiating beauty in a strapless white wedding gown. I’d always thought Casey was pretty, but today, in that plunging neckline sprinkled in crystals … and the soft veil and the white flowers … the sight of her nearly brought me to my knees. I swallowed hard, trying to remember the reason for my intrusion until I caught sight of Casey’s eyes, flooded with tears. It was only then that it dawned on me why everyone was gaping at me now: they thought I was breaking off the wedding. Certainly the chemically induced tears I was shedding had done nothing but drive home the misperception that I was here for nefariousreasons.
“Casey,I…”
“Don’t even think about it,” she said, putting a hand up to stop me. Our eyes met, and hers were blazing. With her head held high, Casey grabbed her dress and stomped toward the door. “Not here. At least give me that onecourtesy.”
5
Casey: TheWedding
Don’t kill him.Just hear him out. Maybe he has a valid reason. No, you know what? He’s leaving you at the altar. Kill thebastard.
As I walked out of the bridal room and into the hallway, I could feel him lapping at my heels. I spun on the pointed toe of my beautiful Jimmy Choo glitter pumps only to have him nearly crash into me. Without waiting for an explanation, I placed my hand on his chest and shoved him away with every last bit of strength I hadinme.
“Casey…pleaseletme…”
Oh, no. If he thought he was getting the first word in this altar-dumping, he was sadly mistaken. Not only would I be taking the first word but also the third, and very last onetoboot.
“I asked you last night if you wanted to talk!” Each word in the sentence became progressively louder until I was shouting the final bit. At this point, I wasn’t even trying to spare the ladies on the other side of the wall. If I was going down, everyone would be going along fortheride.
Mimicking Jake, I began ticking off memorized lines straight from his lying mouth. “‘I’m fine, Casey,’ ‘I’m just nervous, Casey,’ ‘I want to marry you, Casey.’ That’s what you said!” For good measure, I shoved himagain.
Although my throat burned a bit from the shrieking, I was pleased with how successful I’d been in impersonating his voice. Maybe I’d added a touch too much ‘whiny bitch’ to my impression of him; but then, the dream crusher deserved every tiny little thing cominghisway.
My ex-fiancé seemed uncertain of how to calm the wild banshee in me, so he attempted the old ‘Talk the jumper off the roof’ strategy by lifting both arms up in a calming gesture and slowly walking toward me in soothing strides. Surprisingly the approach seemed to be having the desired effect on me, and I was contemplating hearing him out, but then he recklessly miscalculated by placing his pointer finger to his lips and saying, “Casey,shhh.”
“Do not ‘shush’ me!” I snarled through gritted teeth. “You have some nerve! I just can’t believe you! You’re leaving me? Is that what this is? You’re leaving me AT THE ALTAR?!? Do you have any idea what a diabolical douchebag thatmakesyou?!”
“I’mnot…”
Perhaps Jake was trying to answer my question, but I was in no mood to give him that chance. Waving my irate hand in his face, I continued my tirade. “Listen, sparky! I’m not interested in your half-witted excuses. How dare you? I’m just… I can’t even look at you right now, turd-bucket!”
Holy hell! That expression on his face had better not beamusement.
“Casey, can you letmetalk?”
“No. I think we’re past explanations, you…you… polynomial pissant!” Oh, crap… had I just insulted him with a math term? Yes. Yes, I had. Dammit, I needed to focus. “We’re at the point now where I kick your ass across statelines.”
Oh, my god! Was he laughing at me? Unable to control the rage, I opened my fingers and let my palm fly straight for Jake’s face. Impressively, he caught my wristmid-slap.
“Whoa, okay, right to the violence,” he said, looking more entertained thananythingelse.
“Oh, you’re going to get worse than that, dipwad! You realize my whole family is out there… aunts, uncles, cousins. I’ve even got second cousins once removed waiting for me to walk down the aisle. And my poor Aunt Betty – they wheeled her here from the hospital, Jake. Thehospital!”
“It’s not like she was dying,” he said, releasing my wrist. “She had bunionsurgery.”
“I don’t care!” I shouted. How dare he downgrade her very real medical condition! “She’s here, her toe doubled in size, and now, like all the others, she will get to witness my complete and utterdisgrace!”
“I didn’t come here to break it offwithyou.”
I tried to focus on his face, but the furor had me seeing double. Please tell me he wasn’t proposing what I thought he was proposing? Did he seriously think I’d even consider continuing to date him after he callously dumped my ass at thealtar?
“Oh, huh,” I tapped my finger to my lips trying to pretend like I was actually giving his outrageous proposal some merit. “So what you’re saying is – you just want to go back to where we were BEFORE you humiliated me in front of everyone. Wow. How convenient for you. Yeah, I don’t think so,assbutt.”
Dammit. I really needed to cool it with the insults. Now I was just grabbing any two off-colored words and hooking themtogether.
“The wedding’s still on,” he said, rushing the words out before I could stop him again. “If you’ll still have me after you hearmeout.”
“What? I don’t… why would you pull me out here just before theceremony?”
