“Oh, I’m not saying the little goblin wouldn’t be a gift; I’m just saying they might want to keep it covered up as much aspossible.”
Remember when I mentioned that I had one ‘friend’ at work that no one liked? Well, I present to you Francesca Marley, the most hated woman in the hospital and the only nurse who could make me look good. In her early forties, unmarried, and living alone like me, Francesca gave the whole lot of us single ladies a bad name. The words that rolled off her tongue were almost always mean-spirited and offensive. Nurses transferred to other hospitals just to get away from her. Frannie’s vitriol had started wars, broken up marriages, and caused grown mentoweep.
When I’d first started at the hospital, I’d heard tales of the legendary Francesca, but nothing could have prepared me for the real thing. The day of our first meeting, when she walked into the cafeteria and a hush fell over the room, I knew she’d arrived. Lifting my head ever so slightly to get a peek at this mythical creature, I was horrified to discover her making a beeline straightforme.
“Emma McKallister?” the harsh voiceasked.
Squaring my jaw and raising my head high, I nodded. Perhaps it was the fact that I’d been dealing with spiteful coworkers for weeks already, but I sure as hell didn’t plan to take any additional shit fromFrancesca.
“I’ve been watching you,” she said, in a tone I couldn’tquiteread.
“Okay. And what haveyouseen?”
“Enough to know what I’m dealing with.” Francesca smiled, but it came out more like a disturbing leer. “CanIsit?”
She didn’t wait for my reply, which would have been a big, fatNo, before taking the empty seat across from me. As if we were old friends reminiscing, Frannie proceeded to give me the rundown of the hospital, complete with every dirty detail she’d collected over the years. I sat in horrified fascination as one story after another left her mouth, unable to pull my eyes away from the poo-flinger that was FrancescaMarley.
The last thing I needed was to have more negativity attached to me, so I actively avoided any association with the woman. However, Frannie had an uncanny ability to find me in all corners of the hospital. Sometimes I wondered if she’d implanted a microchip in me for tracking purposes. Over time, I stopped fighting it and just accepted her presence in my life. What else couldIdo?
Strangely enough, though, the more time I spent with her, the more I began to enjoy Francesca’s company. It was refreshing to be around a person who told it like it was. Any problem she might have with me would be blasted out in front of my face, as opposed to the current method of communication employed by my other co-workers, which was to whisper it behind my back. Yes, Frannie was the single most inappropriate person I’d ever come in contact with, but her humor was, at times, wickedly funny. And under all her bravado, there was a lonely woman looking for companionship. If there was one thing we could bond over, itwasthat.
“Could you imagine the toothy gremlin breast-feeding? I mean, come on, clomping down on Big Lips, Fake Tits? Heaven have mercy… you know what I’msaying?”
“I do,” I whispered. “And so doeseverybodyelse.”
“Am I talking too loud?” she asked, raising her voice… onpurpose.
Big Lips gave Frannie the wickedest glare. I prayed she wasn’t going to make her way over because then things would really get nasty. Part of being ‘friends’ with Francesca meant suffering through the cringe-worthy confrontations that inevitably arose from her shameless ‘honesty.’
“Emma?”
I knew that drawl, and I reluctantly lifted my eyes to find Dr. Schlong, a.k.a. Logan, a.k.a. my last hookup, smiling downuponme.
From under the table, Frannie kicked my shin. It was no light tap but a full-on karate chop. She knew of our tryst and how he’d treated me afterwards, so of course she hated him with a passion. I scowled at her, demanding restraint, before returning my attention toLogan. “Yes?”
“I was curious what you were doing this weekend. Maybe we could hang out. What doyousay?”
“I’m going to Sun Desert this weekend,” I replied. But of course he already knew that; hence the reason he’d made the effort to come over to me in the firstplace.
“Oh, really?” he remarked, feigning ignorance. “That’s right. Your brother’s performing,isn’the?”
I grinned. Logan was so transparent. The fact that Jake was headlining the weekend festival was no big secret. I would have had more respect for him if he’d just asked for a ticket and gotten it over with, but this whole charade of wanting to spend time with me now… it was socontrived.
“Yeah, he’s performing Saturdaynight.”
“Oh, huh. Well, I wouldn’t mind going there. If you wanted some company,thatis.”
“Sorry, it’s my dad’s birthday, so just family is going, but thanks for the offer. Maybe I’ll see you there,though.”
“Only if you can get me a ticket or two. They’ve been sold out for months. But doesn’t Jake get a bunch of VIP passes togiveout?”
Frannie kicked me again, but this time it was more a courtesy tap. Her eyes were blazing with anger. Clearly she wanted my permission to set him straight. Ahh, Francesca Marley really was a good friend to me. I couldn’t think of anyone else, outside my family, who’d be willing to defend my honor. I smiled and nodded my head in response to her request, and watched in awe as Dr. Schlong was crudely ripped anewone.
* * *
Icould have drivento the concert with my family, but that would have left me without a car and without the freedom it afforded me. I’d gone to these types of festivals before and was not a fan of the rampant drugs, ear-splitting music, and ultra bitchy, wanna-be hippie-chic attitude of many of the attendees. When I wanted to relax with music, it was always of the classical variety. Just the sound of a lone piano could lift my spirits. That’s when I appreciated Jake’s music the most… the stripped down, vulnerable piano versions of his songs that he recorded in his home studio just for me. Of course, I understood that simple and sweet didn’t fill arenas. My brother gave his fans what they wanted, and usually that was in the form of screaming guitars, pulsating percussion, and stadium-stomping rockanthems.
If I wanted to be completely honest, were Jake and I not siblings, I wouldn’t be caught dead at one of his concerts. My brother knew this traitorous fact about me yet never took offense. In fact, my distaste for his music was a source of great amusement. After all, Jake and I had a long history of musicalsparring.
