“Kyle, I…”
He stood up swiftly, the chair hitting the wall behind him. Oh, god, he was leaving. I had to make him hear me.
“Please, Kyle, just give me a chance.”
As he came around the table, I expected him to push past me angrily and was prepared to latch onto him and not let go. But instead of trying to evade me, Kyle’s arms wrapped around me and squeezed. Shocked, it took me a second to hug him back, but when I did, I held him fiercely. His head dug into my neck as I felt shudders rack through his body. He sighed heavily in my arms. This was a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. I could feel the sorrow coursing through him. We didn’t speak. There was no need. We held on to each other as if our lives depended on it.
Maybe they did.
After a minute, Kyle pulled back slightly, but we were still entangled in an embrace. Dark circles were heavy under his tired eyes. “How did you know I’d be here?”
“You know me and my surveillance techniques.”
He nodded, his lip turned up slightly. He couldn’t even muster a full smile, and that worried me more than I cared to admit. His family had not released much information about Jake’s condition, but by the look on Kyle’s face, it wasn’t good.
“I’ve been waiting here all day,” I admitted. “Hoping you’d come in.”
He nodded, eyes searching mine.
“I want you to know, Kyle, I’m so sorry. What I did was inexcusable.”
Kyle hugged me again. “Stop,” he whispered in my ear.
“No, you need to understand.”
“I do understand. I was just pissed that I got kicked out.”
“And you should have been. I betrayed you.”
“It was a game. You played it. I’m proud of you. After your less-than-stellar start, I didn’t think you’d last a day on the island, and now look at you.”
I shook my head. “You and I both know it went beyond the game. I really cared about you… or let me change that to present tense, I care about you. A lot. And the minute I made the decision I made, I knew it was a huge mistake. I wanted to take it back, but I couldn’t. And I’ve spent the last three months just agonizing over it. I would have come sooner to apologize, but I didn’t know where to find you.”
“I’m not mad at you. Honestly, I just don’t have the energy for petty shit like that. I get it. You did what you had to do. Family is the most important thing. Trust me – I know that,” Kyle said, morosely. “You were just looking out for them. I would have done the same thing if I were in your position.”
“No,” I whispered, shamefaced. “I did it for me, because I was selfish.”
“I don’t care. I accept your apology, and I don’t want to talk about it again. Okay?”
I hesitated. Much like when he accepted my apology for vomiting on him, I couldn’t fathom how he could be so forgiving.
“Seriously, no more apologies. Promise.”
“I promise.”
Kyle dropped his head and put his hand on the table to steady himself. He seemed exhausted to the point where he might drop at any moment.
“Are you okay?” I asked, grabbing his arm to support him.
“Yeah. I need to sit down. I haven’t eaten in a while,” he said as he slid back into his chair.
Sitting down opposite Kyle, I placed my hand over his.
“Sorry,” he apologized. “I’m a mess right now.”
“Don’t be sorry. I wish I could do something to help you.”
Kyle lifted his eyes, and the look he gave me was one of pure misery.
