Sure enough, when she turned the test over, it was positive. She was pregnant. Again.
Strangely, her first thought wasn’t fear or sadness. It was joy. She’d loved Jack as a baby, rocking him to sleep through those long newborn nights, watching his first steps and first word and first Christmas, watching him become his own person. A new life was growing inside her, and she couldn’t wait to meet her next baby. She couldn’t wait to see Jack as a big brother. She couldn’t wait to be a mother all over again.
Then the panic began to set in. She was about to become a single mother to not one, but two children. Jack’s baby yearshad been a bubble of joy and baby powder, but they’d also been the hardest time of Nina’s life. She’d worked day and night to provide for her sonandraise him, often running on just three or four hours of sleep. How would she ever do it again, this time with a baby and a kindergartener?
Then Nina thought of Theo. He’d always been clear that he had no interest in having a real family, but he’d also been wonderful with Jack. And this was his child. He deserved to know about the pregnancy. Yet the last thing Nina wanted to do was tell Theo that she was carrying his baby. Odds were good that she’d be rejected all over again.
You have to tell him,Nina told herself firmly.It’s the right thing to do.Theo would probably brush the whole matter aside, but she could take the rejection.
She would just wait. Until the right time. Once her aching heart had healed, she’d face Theo again and tell him about the baby. Theo had cast her and Jack aside like a used prop from a high school play. So, if Nina took her sweet time telling him he was going to be a father, that was her right. She needed to wait until she could see Theo without her sadness and anger threatening to drown her.
Until then, she’d handle this pregnancy the way she’d always handled everything: on her own.
CHAPTER 22
THEO
“What do you think, Mr. Hillman?”
Theo started out of his reverie. He’d been watching drops of rain slide down the glass of the window in long, slow tracks again, his mind far from the boardroom where he was currently sitting with the rest of his C-suite for their weekly meeting.
“Could you please repeat what you just said?” Theo asked. He hated that he was having so much trouble focusing on his work. Turning all his attention towards his CTO, who was currently speaking, he leaned forward.
“That’s why we’ve been getting more pings from clients about issues with the database — it’s actually the slightly slower loading speed due to our having switched servers. If we switch back, it should ameliorate the issue, though it may cause an increase in our overheads,” the CTO explained. “What do you think? Should we return to the old servers?”
“We switched servers not just to save on costs, but also to decrease the load time,” Theo said. “Do we know why the new servers are slower instead of faster?”
“Not yet,” The CTO made a note. “I’ll look into it and bring an update to our next meeting.”
“Good,” Theo nodded. “Then we can make an informed decision. What other business is on the table?”
“According to my agenda, you wanted to give us an update on the Ackley contract,” his assistant reminded him.
“Right,” Theo sat up straighter. “The signing dinner with Charles Ackley is tonight. We’ve met a few times over the last few weeks, and he’s also met with other members of the team. The contract is exactly what we were hoping for, and he seems satisfied, too. I’ll bring you an update at the next meeting, but I don’t foresee any issues.”
The truth was that things with Charles Ackley were better than Theo had ever imagined they could be. The two of them were almost friends, always asking about each other’s families and chatting about shared hobbies and plans. Charles had even invited Theo to come to the family’s second home on Cape Cod, though Theo had been forced to make his excuses since it would have been more than strange to show up without Nina and Jack.
Nina. Jack. For the first time that day, Theo let himself think of them.
It had been nearly three weeks since Nina had walked out of the kitchen, her head held high, not looking back. Theo had stared after her, his heart racing, wanting nothing more than to call after her that he’d made a terrible mistake. He’d wanted to beg her to stay. But he hadn’t. He couldn’t.
Since then, Theo had done his best to throw himself into work, but it was hard to concentrate. He found himself constantly wondering what Nina and Jack were doing, no matter how hard he tried to keep them out of his thoughts. He wanted to hear the details of the graphic design work Nina had just taken on. He wanted to play superheroes with Jack. He wanted to kiss Nina again and hold her hand.
“That closes our business, then,” Theo’s assistant said. Theo kicked himself as he realized that he’d allowed his mind to drift away from work. Again.
Everyone stood, stretching and gathering their laptops and papers.
“Do you have Thanksgiving plans?” Theo’s CFO asked with a bright smile. “I imagine you’ll be with your family.”
“Of course,” Theo said, though his heart pinched. He wouldn’t be with Nina and Jack. Probably, he’d end up working in his home office and eating a meal prepared by his private chef. No turkey or mashed potatoes for him. No sitting around a table laden with food, talking about gratitude. No laughter and warmth. “How about you?”
The CFO began to tell him all about her plans to cook Thanksgiving dinner with her sister for both their families. Theo listened as best he could, but once again, his thoughts were far away. Without Nina and Jack to go home to, everything seemed so hollow and pointless.
Once the meeting was over, he went to his office to work. Slowly, the building was clearing out. It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, and a lot of his employees were traveling for the holiday. By five o’clock, only a few stragglers remained. Theoheaded home through the growing darkness, rain falling on his windshield. He needed to prepare for the signing dinner, or he would have stayed at the office all evening.
Theo didn’t like to go home anymore. His house, which had so recently been filled with laughter and music and drawings and the smell of home-cooked food, was now very empty. Stepping through the front door was a reminder of all he’d lost.
When he arrived, he went from room to room, as he always did, turning on lights on his way upstairs. The house was dark and silent.
