I ignore him and turn my attention back to Phoenix. “Show me some more of your firefighting skills. I bet you have a big hose.”
Phoenix’s hand flies to his mouth as he tries to hold back his laugh, but he snorts so hard, beer spouts from his nostrils.
I hear a giggle from Hazel behind me, but under Shane’s heated stare, I daren’t laugh. Every fibre in my body is poised as if my cells recognise his voice, his presence, and recall the night he came to punish me with his tongue and his firm hand.
My body shudders involuntarily.
Completely oblivious to my reaction to Shane nearby, Phoenix says, “You’ll have to come down to the station and see for yourself. In fact, I’m at the fundraiser next month. You can come down and have a play with the hose yourself.”
“She won’t be going anywhere,” Shane says through gritted teeth.
I turn towards Shane and raise my eyebrow. “Last I checked, I was free to do as I please.”
Phoenix bats his head from mine to Shane’s, like he’s at a tennis match. Only this is a stare-off match, and there’s no way I’m backing down. If Shane wants me to stop flirting, then he’d better claim me as his. I’ll flirt with every man in this joint if I have to.
Shane pulls a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and casually barges past Phoenix. “She’s off-limits,” he says as he strolls towards the door like he owns the damn place and me.
“I’m sorry, Phoenix.” I storm after him, lifting my jumper back onto my shoulder before I reach the door. With all my strength, I push against it, hitting Shane on the back as it flies open. “What the hell was that all about?”
He brings his lit cigarette to his lips and inhales, his dark eyes harbouring all his desires. “You need to be careful. There’s still a man on the loose who broke into your house. It could be anyone.”
I huff air from my nostrils, so mad I’m surprised it’s not smoke from the fire in my blood. “I hardly think Phoenix is a threat. We’ve known him for years.”
He exhales, letting out a plume of smoke that billows in front of my face. “Over forty percent of attacks are committed by people they know.”
The outdoor light shines on the tendrils of smoke spiralling between us. I waft my hand to dispel it away. “How many times do I have to tell you that these things will kill you?”
He shrugs and inhales another drag, the cherry flaring as he inhales. “It’s not like anyone cares.” Lifting his boot, he rests his foot and back against the brick wall, looking defeated as if his only joy in life is this cigarette.
“Why are you saying that?” I step closer, trying to gauge what’s going on with him. “Lots of people care.”
“Do they?” He flicks the ash onto the floor, then takes another drag.
“Yes, of course. Kane, and the guys. Your colleagues.” I close the distance between us.
He straightens his spine, pushing off from the wall. “Who else, Lilly?”
“Me.” I place my palms against his police vest. The padded vest prevents me from feeling the beat of his heart, but his chest rises with a sharp intake of breath. “You have to know what you mean to me, Shane.”
“I don’t. Tell me.” He throws the cigarette to the ground and stubs it out with his boot.
I pinch my eyebrows together, wondering what’s going on in his head. He has to know I’m in love with him. “Do you not recall our last conversation?”
“Our last conversation was at Fern’s house.” He rolls his eyes as if remembering the awkwardness.
“Before that,” I say, leaning into him.
His eyes search mine as if recalling our encounters. “You stayed over at my place. I said I would always protect you.”
“I wasn’t talking about that.” Leaning closer, his warm breath fans my cheek. “I said it doesn’t have to be the end. Told you to come over and talk to me face to face.” Tears pool in my eyes. “But you ghosted me.”
“Lil, I—” He clears his throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I clench my fist and hit his padded vest. “When are you going to admit it was you all along? You made me feel things I’ve never felt with anyone else.” Until this point, I never thought we could have a relationship, but the pregnancy changes everything. It’s given me the courage I needed to do something for myself for once. I’m always putting others first and now I will have another person dependent on me, and I don’t want to do this alone. But more than that, I want Shane. I’ve always wanted him, and if he won’t fight for us, then I will.
He closes his eyes and exhales. His arms wrap around me, his fingers tangling in my hair, holding my head in place as he rests his forehead against mine. With a clenched jaw, he clings to the lie, but every muscle in his body tenses, as though he’s in pain. “Lilly, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You said it yourself. Forty percent of break-ins know their victims.” I know it’s him. I feel it deep in my soul. My body remembers these strong arms pinning me down, my ears recognise his deep, gruff voice, and my senses would know his scent a mile away. And then there’s my heart that’s fused to his. Tethered to him since I was a little girl and now I feel like it’s severed. The ties that bind us are breaking string by string.
