With another punch to his chest, I whisper yell, “I’m talking about you fucking me senseless, but not wanting to commit. You ghosted me. You made me feel worthless. You’re just like therest of them.” I won’t allow myself to cry. I’ve done my share of sobbing over men.
The whites of his eyes widen. He holds me, not letting go no matter how much I struggle against him. “I thought I was doing the right thing. You told me to stay away.”
“I wanted you to fight for me.”
He straightens his elbows, holding my shoulders at arm’s length to look into my eyes. “I have fought for you. Every fucking day, I’ve fought for you. Fought myself to stay away and do the right thing. I’ve fought the department to stay on your case and track down your attacker. And I’ll keep on fighting for you until the day I die.”
I flare my nostrils, trying to hold back my unshed tears, but his words just broke the dam and they drip onto my cheeks.
His hands cup my face, his thumbs swiping at the tears as they fall. “I’ve stayed away because I couldn’t touch you until I was sure I was clean. I got tested after your brother—” He pauses, rests his forehead against mine, our breaths ragged and hot against the chilled air.
We stay like this for a moment, our noses touching, our bodies pressed against each other, but his mouth, a whisper from mine, fights to stay away as if he can’t cross the line.
“I didn’t want to stay away, but I thought it was for the best. If I saw you on a live or you asked me to come over again, I wouldn’t be able to resist and I had to make sure I was clean. There was no way in hell I was putting you at risk.”
“And are you clean?”
“Yes. I got the results back yesterday.”
“Then what are you waiting for?” I brush my lips against his, hoping he’ll claim them like he has so many times before.
His brow furrows. With a tense jaw, he chokes out, “Your sister?”
“She can join us, but I don’t think she has the same kinks as we do.” My chest rises and falls with rapid breaths. It’s now or never. I’ve laid everything on the line. Well, not everything. I still have one last card to play, but I need to know he wants me for me and not because I’m carrying his child. He’s always doing the right thing, and I know he would do the right thing with me, but I need to know he wants me like I want him. I need to feel his raw obsession like I did before. I want my shadow back.
I swallow as he just stares at me, almost in disbelief. His tongue finds the chip on his tooth as he slides it along his top teeth.
After what seems like minutes, I sigh and push away. “If you’re not going to fuck me, then I’ll find someone else who will.”
37
SHANE
“Over my dead body.” I reach for her arm as she spins on her heel. The same heels I’ve imagined fucking her in this whole time.
Before she can take another step away from me, I grab her by the wrist and pull her back to me. “You’ll do no such thing, trouble.” My heart races as if I’m in pursuit of a criminal, but the only crime she’s guilty of is stealing my heart.
She pants against my chest. I need to get this damn police vest off so I can feel her heart beating against mine.
The radio crackles. Voices come through the speaker, but I don’t register what they say.
Lilly stares up at me with panting breaths. “Do you need to get that?”
“I have some trouble to deal with here first.” I bend down and scoop her up in my arms, then throw her over my shoulder.
She yelps with a giggle. “Wow, I didn’t know you could lift me like that.”
I spank her ass. “I’m as strong as any fucking fireman. And my hose is just as fucking big.” My arm wraps around her legs, my hand itching to crawl inside her knickers. With adrenalinecoursing through my body, my muscles are on fire, burning with need for her.
A few long strides into the car park, and I click the police car door open before setting her on her feet. “Get in.” I open the door.
She stares at me again with her parted mouth, those two front teeth resting on her bottom lip that make me feral. “Are you arresting me, officer?” She bites her lip while batting her long lashes up at me.
I groan, my dick hardening beneath my zipper. “You’re a bad girl, you know that, trouble?”
She quirks a smile, then slips into the vehicle.
I practically run to the other door, my brain catching up with my next move as I creak the leather, settling in behind the steering wheel. “Buckle up, baby.”
